The deluded new age followers’ psyche

Before i met SreeMaa-Shreeji, whom i am very fortunate to call Paratpar Guru, was looking for answers to my inner quest in the new age circles. Having had no exposure to Sanatana Dharma, had no idea what true spirituality was and was reading ‘spiritual’ books at random and trying out different things from the new age smorgasbord. My agyan and avidya (ignorance) was high and with my white privilege firmly in place, i was also ignorant about cultural appropriation.

New age industry
If you take a real good and honest look at the new age movement, it is not so much about the soul or genuine spirituality, but more about feeling good or special and earning money. You could call it an industry. Not surprisingly spiritual bypassing is rife, just as cultural appropriation. With all the new age spiritual coaches, channels, healers and readers out there, it is more like the blind leading the blind. All this is a recipe for getting lost in the delusions rather than moving forward and it was true that i wasn’t going anywhere in my spiritual pursuit as such. For me everything changed when i had the great fortune to meet SreeMaa in February 2012.

Touched by Supreme Grace 
I can never thank Paratpar Guru enough for taking this lost soul under Paratpar Guru’s Wings, awakening my True Soul (Atma), opening my eyes to the truth and ceaselessly guiding me in this blessed P.R.O.C.E.S.S of Awakenin Transformation Transcendence to move past the antics of the small self, to move more towards being a non-doer, embody the True Soul and remain rooted in the True SELF (Brahmroop) who is fully surrendered to the Absolute. All this while being Graced with a 24/7 connection to the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse, the most benevolent Signature of the Source/Void shared boundlessly by Paratpar Guru that uplifts, upgrades, heals and unifies on a scale that is beyond human comprehension. It is in the Sharan of Paratpar Guru that i learnt what real spirituality (adhyatmikta) entails and the reason why jivatmas take a human birth.

An honest look at my shallow and phony new age followers’ psyche
True spirituality requires honestly looking within to move past the narratives we tell ourselves, the grey shades and the inner enemies. Sharing a quick snapshot overview of my new (c)age explorations and the cultural appropriation i ended up doing as well as the delusions that were part of my phony new age followers’ psyche, so that others may open their eyes and think twice before falling for the new age fluff.

• I appropriated the word Goddess by running Goddess circles with another person for mothers. This was a very shallow way of operating as i had not done the required inner work nor done the research to understand what a Goddess really means.
  
  
• Had angel cards, incl a deck by Doreen Virtue’s that featured images of Deities and Devis such as Lord Ganesh and Lakshmiji, which i now realize is the pinnacle of cultural appropriation and entitlement as if they can be used to manifest what we desire.
  
  
• Before moving to Northern Beaches in Sydney, i did a 7 level reiki workshop and volunteered for the teacher’s reiki stand at MBS. Gave 2 or 3 reiki sessions in exchange for money.
  
  
• Had a couple of yoga dvd’s, using it to practice what i thought was yoga, but these only focussed on the body and mind, leaving out the most crucial part of the Atma and union with the Paramatma. Did not research to find out what yoga is really about nor who brought this gift to humanity. Pretty much the same attitude that most people in the west would have.
  
  
• In the Netherlands a lot of people think it is fashionable to have a Buddha statue and was gifted one for my birthday once which i kept as decoration for a while. Had no idea what Buddha taught or what Buddhism was about, nor did i look into it at the time.
  
  
• Played music on youtube which had mantras without understanding the meaning.
  
  
• Have been wearing Indian style clothing without thinking about how people from India would feel about this.
  
  
• Visited Swaminarayan Mandirs in the UK without checking with Paratpar Guru, which shows my white sense of entitlement.
  
  
• Bought right into the love and light programme because it made me feel good. What this means in simple terms is pretending to be loving, compassionate and giving but refusing to look at your dark/shadow/small self. Or think about the actresses whom many may admire as so beautiful, loving and kind but in reality, they are using drugs and doing things that are a far cry away from the righteous way of living, in tune with one’s True Soul. 
  
  
• Did some course titled the voice for love to be able to hear the inner voice. Thought i could hear the inner voice by doing some course instead of doing real inner work. This was linked to a Course in Miracles, which talks about surrender and Grace of God but had no clue what this really meant. Had some concept of God is Love and was hoping and praying to connect with God. This was just before i met SreeMaa (whom i then knew as KaVeeTa).
  
  
• My signature of my old email address when starting to volunteer for Kosmic Fusion read ‘sharing the love’ and had a website named presenceoflove. Think i stopped the website somewhere in 2015. My new cage psyche actually thought i knew what love was and i was here to share the love; talk about grandiosity.  
  
  
• For the longest time i have held this belief in some world of love and oneness, not seeing things for what they really are. This was a way of spiritual bypassing for me instead of facing the truth.
  
  
• Especially in the beginning of my ‘spiritual’ search, read a lot of self help books, Eckhart Tolle and the likes, mixing and matching randomly, not following one dedicated path, and following authors or teachers without knowing their foundation or lineage – generally a bad idea.
  
  
• Had Doreen Virtue’s meaning of numbers book and Louis Hays book of affirmations. Didn’t have the discipline to do affirmations but loved deriving special meaning from seeing combination of numbers and actually thought the angels were guiding me that way. Believed that i was guided by the angels to go to Australia and the angels got me a job in Australia. Later found out it was my karma bhumi, meaning i would only encounter hard karmic lessons.
  
  
• Bought into the lightworker nonsense, feeling special as ‘i’ was on the earth to do sth good and visited some spiritual circles and listened to the odd online ‘guided’ meditation by Pleiadians or sth like that. Also remember some meditation with a merkaba called diamond alignment. Completely clueless about the energetic pollution that i was exposing myself to as i really had no idea who i was opening myself up to or to what i was connecting.
  
  
• Was impressed with people who were able to channel. Did not consider what kind of energies could be coming through. Had no clue about energy hygiene apart from believing in cutting cords as taught by Doreen Virtue and Archangel Michael’s violet flame. My ignorance was extremely high. Would like to urge seekers that energy hygiene is very important and avoid these new age type of guided or channeled meditations, especially the mass meditations, as you have no idea what you are opening your energy field up to. 
  
  
• Went to have a reading a few times. Also had one or two small crystals which i kept on ‘my altar’. The new cage smorgasbord fitted right in with my consumer attitude and doing as per how i pleased, no discipline required but believing am living some special purpose.
  
  
• Believed in the soul mate, twin flame stuff and desperately wanted to be with my soul mate. This is all about human desires rather than the soul. This deluded desire got me into a lot of trouble and ended up dating two holographic inserts (ironically those without a soul), not only that but falling pregnant as well. One was even after meeting KaVeeTa and attending the Awakenin Transformation workshop. It is only the ati ati Daya aur Krupa of Paratpar Guru that the hideous energies in my womb were released. Sharing this openly as i know there are a lot of seekers out there still lost in the soul mate drama. The True Soul belongs to the Absolute and real union is the union between the Atma and Parmatma, the True Soul and the Absolute.

Forever indebted to Paratpar Guru for taking me under Paratpar Guru's Wings, guiding me into the fold of Sanatana Dharma and waking me up to the Truth  /\ô_ _/\ô_ /\ô_

2015 FiT Retreat - Absolute Hug

Sree Maa Shri Ji showered so many Initiations and Blessings during the 2015 Kawai Pura Pura Retreat, it would take pages to share them all.

Sree Maa Shri Ji graced us with the Biggest Gift of non-action and being an akarmi and really helped us move deeper into this at this Retreat. Dynamic and experiential as the workshops always are, we practised this with giving each other a hug, where we could move beyond the sense of “i” am hugging,  into a sense of there is no one there but the hugging is happening and deeper still to go beyond the hugger, hugged or embrace into the internal infinite love of the Absolute that is always there. Such a profound, beautiful experience.

Sashtang Dandavat and embraced by the Divine

Earlier in the Retreat during the Practitioner Training part, Sree Maa Shri Ji also explained in great detail about the value and energy dynamics of prostration, a moment to slow down and move towards Stillness. There were some who were hesitant, but no one was ever forced or coerced.

i personally felt no hesitation and had a most profound experience one time when bowing down in Sashtang Dandavat touching Sree Maa’s Lotus Feet. i completely lost awareness of the body even the floor disappeared and just felt this most powerful and magnificent Presence and some sort of merging happening, it is really hard to put into words. Sree Maa Shri Ji also explained when you touch the Feet of your Guru and when you get up and are embraced by the Guru that is the biggest Blessing of Welcome to this Abode. Forever Grateful to Sree Maa Shri Ji for embracing this meritless soul and accepting me into Sree Maa Shri Ji’s Fold.

At some point, Sree Maa Shri Ji graced us with the opportunity to release our unconcious acts and it got very hot in the room. We had lit up our own fire, releasing countless unconcious acts - swa ahuti Sree Maa called it. Here you can listen to my sharing afterwards where i cried when Sree Maa Shri Ji came and hugged me, felt like finally have come Home. Forever grateful to beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji _/\_

Akarmi deh names

Sree Maa Shri Ji graced us with a akarmi deh Initiation and with new names, akarmi deh names, to help us settle into the non-doer a bit better. We all looked with excitement at the board where the new names were written. i had seen the name Ekta written there, meaning Unity, and was drawn to it but part of me also felt it was too ‘big’ a name. All the names were the virtues of Brahmn and calling each other by that name would remind us of that quality. Beautiful names included Simran, meditation or remembrance of God, Mahima, meaning Glory to remember the Glory of God, Archita, the one who is surrendered to God as the Brahmn is always surrendered to Bhagwan. Really felt grateful to receive the precious name Ekta and made a sankalp within to honour it the best i could.

Interestingly, at this same Retreat and afterwards i got the opportunity to do just that. When i arrived at the Retreat, some of the FiTs invited me to their rooms to catch up, have a little chat. Even though i felt a little tired as i had flown from Europe to New Zealand, i decided to come. As i was listening, i noticed how one of them, Jeeya, would talk about others and not always in a favourable way, basically she was gossiping. After a while i did not feel comfortable and left saying i was tired and wanted to sleep. Later on, i confided with Archita that i didn’t like the gossiping. What i should have done was stood up right there and then and said something about it. Sree Maa told me to reflect and then apologize to everyone as i had come from separation and thought that i was ‘better’. Was very grateful to Sree Maa for pointing this out to me and giving me to chance to see through the subtleties of the ego and its arrogance. Only someone who is your true Well-Wisher would go to this extent to make sure your Atma is honoured and the ego is dissolved.

i know for sure that the one who walked into the door is not the one who left the Retreat – all only by the Grace and Shakti of beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji. Sada Aapki Abhaari Rahungi Sree Maa Shri Ji _/\_

Blown away by the Grace of Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse

Removal of ignorance

Since Sree Maa Shri Ji came into my life early 2012, there have been so many profound experiences and moments, would not be possible to write them all down. i know in my heart of hearts that where i am today in my P.R.O.C.E.S.S of Awakenin Transformation Transcendence is all only because of the Grace, Kindness, Blessing and Shelter of Sree Maa, my beloved Paratpar Guru.

As i am born and raised in Europe in a white atheist household, really didn’t have a clue what Guru meant. There were many things i was completely ignorant about, even simple energy hygiene protocols, but Sree Maa has patiently and lovingly worked with me in a way i could understand, opening me up to true knowledge and a greater understanding of Absolute Truth including the purpose of human life – helping remove layers of agyan and avidya (ignorance). There is nothing more fortunate that a Guru-disciple relationship for any genuine seeker and quite frankly the depth of this i am only just beginning to understand, but energetically have felt it for a longer time.  

Throughout the years, Sree Maa has played the role of my Teacher, my Friend, my Guide, my Philosopher, my Benefactor, my Guru. Complex scriptural knowledge from the ancient scriptures, Sree Maa would explain in simple English with examples and analogies of the ‘modern world’ and a great sense of humour. Any question we had, we could ask. Sree Maa would give us a voice in the volunteering, listening to our inputs. When Sree Maa knew i was struggling financially in Sydney, while we were at the expo in Sydney CBD Sree Maa took me to buy a beautiful skirt. Still have that skirt 😊 Always always, Sree Maa Shri Ji has been available to us.

Sree Maa sees only the potential of the Absolute in everyone, the Atma (True Soul), that which has been created by the Absolute and belongs to the Absolute, Swaminarayan Bhagwan only and accepts all with open arms, no matter their background, culture, religion, the densities or issues they may carry. Truly the glorious living embodiment of Grace, Compassion and Kindness.

How beautifully Sree Maa worked with me so that my Faith in Bhagwan could grow and the bond with Sree Maa could develop. In a letter in 2014 i wrote about it as:
I am forever grateful to Sree Maa and Shree Ji for being the living TRUTH and LOVE and restoring my Faith in LOVE. Their embracing this lost sheep with such GRACE truly shows the Benevolance of GOD.

Sree Maa also guided me in an experiential way to understand that a true Guru, someone who truly cares for your Soul (Atma), points out the obstacles to your Soul’s liberation and fusion with Bhagwan so that you can honestly look at it and let go, be they inner enemies (like lust, greed, jealousy etc.), faulty beliefs, habits or whatever layers of the small/false/dark/ego self.

As i have written before, this took me a little while to accept with love and grace my ego did not like feedback, but now i feel so grateful. It is not through judging others or ourselves that we can shed the layers, but through the gates of honesty and acceptance and taking responsibility we can awaken, transform and transcend beyond the small/false/dark/ego self into our True SELF who is always in seva and surrender to the One and Only One. For further inspiration please also read Vachanamrut Gadhada Madhya 37.4.

Sharing a beautiful post Sree Maa recently shared on Facebook:

In my P.R.O.C.E.S.S (and yes, it is a P.R.O.C.E.S.S, no magic pill here), there have been a number of watershed moments apart from the Awakenin Transformation workshop itself of course. One such moment was the Transcendence in 2013 in Sydney. Transcendence workshop is a profound Blessing with a lot to it, but one aspect is that Sree Maa Shri Ji Graces the ones present with the clearing of entities in the organs. A small description from Sree Maa here:

"Most parasites that feel like negative elements and entities trying to control our the entities in your organs .
We do clear entities in the organs in the TranScEndeNcE Sessions which is by invitation only.

To be honest out of the 16 people who were invited to attend the TranScEndeNcE Initiations -activations and transmissions only a handful have been able to truly step back.
The EGO really is the most malevolent Entity that which appears to be foreign but is the person's who consciousness fragments attacking themselves.

Key point to note is that the basis for Transcendence is stepping back, being the non-doer.
i can best share what happened during the 2 Transcendence workshop days, where some demonic energies sitting in my womb were released, through sharing the testimonial i wrote about it a year later in 2014. 

First of all I would like to express my deepest gratitude to Sree Maa and Shree Ji for all the GRACE and LOVE and Guidance I have received. I can't say this enough!
It was on Wesak 2013, the day before the TrAnScEnDeNcE Workshop, where we were gathered for a special Initiation and at some point while Maa was guiding us through an experiential exercise/meditation my belly began swelling up like I was instantly 9 months pregnant. I remember Maa inviting me to sit with her and to release whatever was in my womb. I still get tears in my eyes when I think about this, there was something extremely humbling to sit so close to Maa on her lap. She helped me breathe like a woman does when she is giving birth, it took a lot of breaths and considerable pushing. Guess there was some resistance within me to let go.

There were 3 dark entities in my womb if I remember correctly. I had an abortion the year before and there was also an energy of a miscarriage and something related to my current child. This is just to illustrate the amazing Grace that has blessed me and this has indeed been one of the most life-changing moments in my life. Without Sree Maa and Shree Ji's assistance I would not have been able to release it. Afterwards I lay down in a corner, while the other pulsars continued with the meditation. Shree Ji put his hand over my head, and I could still feel them there for a long time even though he had moved to another part of the room. The unconditional LOVE I was touched with that day is beyond words. The response of the other Pulsars afterwards was powerful too. They could immediately see the difference. They said something like 'you're back/welcome back'. I felt infinitely lighter and more spacious, like some things that had been draining the light within me had finally been released. 

Sada Aapki Abhaari Rahungi Sree Maa Shri Ji _/\ô__  _/\ô__ _/\ô__

Sree Maa Shri Ji has explained that ultimately Transcendence can be a by-product of Transformation if one genuinely commits to transformation. All too often Transcendence is what spiritual seekers instantly strive for, but without wanting to do the ‘real work’. Forever grateful to Sree Maa Shri Ji for taking me under Sree Maa’s Wing, sharing the Absolute Truth and nothing but the Absolute Truth and holding my hand on this pathless path.

Would like to conclude with a beautiful chant played during the May/June 2015 Kawai Pura Pura Retreat in New Zealand, where i received the silent Guru mantra during the magnificent Transcendence Workshop there, humbly taking Sree Maa officially as my Guru but will write about this in another blog.

"Gurur Brahma Gurur Vishnu Gurur Devo  Maheshwaraha  Guru Saakshat ParaBrahma Tasmaya Shri Guruve Namaha." 

Meaning Guru is verily the representative of Brahma, Vishnu ,Shiv. He creates, sustains Knowledge and destroy the weeds of Ignorance. I salute such a Guru.

P.S. This blog is intended to openly share my experience of my blessed spiritual journey with Kosmic Fusion that it may inspire others. My apologies it is not in sequential order, jumping back and forth in years, but as the reflections come to me currently in hindsight.

How i met beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji

How i met beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji and Kosmic Fusion

This channel is dedicated to my Paratpar Guru beloved Sree Maa who has taken me under Sree Maa's Wing and is graciously guiding me and holding my hand on the pathless path Home. Sree Maa boundlessly shares the most benevolent Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse, the Swaminarayan Mahamantra with everyone, that which uplifts and upgrades souls effortlessly. Here am humbly sharing about my journey with Kosmic Fusion where i encountered genuine seekers and those with hidden agendas (narcissists). You can read more on my blog: http://kosmicfusionmusings.blogspot.com Please also visit https://www.kosmicfusion.com/ and https://www.sreemaa.com/ as well as beloved Sree Maa's most enlightening Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/SreeMaaDhyanUrvi

Beyond the mask

When i recently watch the video testimonials from 2013 that we had given after one of the workshops in Sydney, something struck me. While everyone is humbled and grateful to be so deeply touched by the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse and forever indebted to Sree Maa Shri Ji, Irene talks about how she has become an instant healer…. It’s all about her and her healing powers now that she is emitting the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse. Where is the non-doer? Where is the homage to Sree Maa Shri Ji, living embodiment of the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse, The Supreme Grace lighting up the path of liberation for the True Soul? These are the signs that can make one aware of who you are sharing the space with... Does it scream me me me or is there a sense of humilty, gratitude and awe. 

Tzu-Ling Kuo/Irene/Joy Kuo/Joy Vottus testimonial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wqjUI_CudA
See other’s testimonials via: https://www.youtube.com/user/kosmicfusion/videos

The mask falls off - it must in the Presence of Absolute Truth

After Irene's true face came out, we all had a good look at all her promotional materials online and offline and it was a shocker to see how she has consistently stolen Kosmic Fusion Intellectual Property. All her materials glorify herself and minimize Sree Maa Shri Ji without whom the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave would not even be in our lives. She falsely portrays herself as Facilitator of Kosmic Fusion and even gave an interview without permission, using everything the way she wanted for her own selfish motives of attracting ‘clients’ as she called them.

Interestingly, she had made a big scene about two others FiTs in Sydney printing a brochure about Bhakti Bhaav without permission from Sree Maa Shri Ji but forgot to mention what all she was doing behind everyone’s back. As long as everyone’s eyes would be focused on somebody else, no one would clue on to what Irene was doing behind the scenes. Narcissists love creating smokes and mirrors and project their wrong doings onto others.

Nearly fell of my chair when i saw one of the documents Irene had written, well plagiarized really, she had called it 77 benefits of Holistic Freedom (the name of her business). She had copy pasted some text from a website and then inserted Quantum Vortex at her will, even adding her own business name in front of Quantum Vortex, using and abusing the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse anyhow she likes. Such disrespect to Sree Maa Shri Ji and this most sacred and benevolent Mother of Energies, Frequencies and Vibrations.  

Her masks finally started to crack during the Reunion held in July 2017. This was organized by the FiTs to come together to honestly look at what each one had contributed to the FiT Programme and to get closure. At one point she pulled me aside and started to fill my ears about others. i did not like that as we are here to look at our own shades not to judge others. While there was an open and honest discussion going on, Irene would disrupt the flow and point fingers at Hanuman, the very seem person whom she had been using and abusing for over 5 years. While everyone was sincerely filling out the questionnaires put together by a few of us to help us reflect, she excused herself and did not want to fill it out. Now we know, she had a lot to hide… 

Embraced by boundless Grace

Sree Maa Shri Ji are the most Kind, Loving and Gracious you will ever come across and believe in the potential of the Absolute in everyone. Sree Maa Shri Ji do not judge anyone, so all types are welcome to join. All the support, all the Love, Grace and Guidance has been given to each and everyone one of the FiT to overcome their issues and move into the non-doer and their higher potential. In fact, Sree Maa has given over and beyond of what is humanly possible. There is no doubt in my heart and mind about the Greatness of Sree Maa Shri Ji, though my mind is not able to fully fathom someone so boundless and unconditionally loving. The entire world says #nocontact with narcissists, but Sree Maa has such a big heart and embraces everyone unconditionally and without any judgement so that radical healing can take place. Please read the mind-blowing blogs of Nandini and Jeeya as they let Sree Maa’s Supreme Grace touch them and help them transform.

Sree Maa Shri Ji, living embodiment of Supreme Grace and Compassion, sharing the most benevolent Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse unconditionally with all 24/7. It is Sree Maa's ekantik Bhakti to the Supreme holder of the Shunya Bindu, Bhagwan Swaminarayan that we receive as the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse. 

P.S.
Only sharing my experiences so that it may be helpful to others in my situation

Selfless service vs service to self

My first encounter with Irene/Tzu-Ling Kuo/Joy Kuo (she now calls herself Joy Vottus), one of the volunteers, was not a smooth one. She was pushy and constantly pointing out mistakes of others. It’s only in hindsight that i can put the pieces together and realize that since the time Irene joined, the harmony in the group plummeted big time. At the time i was still too overtaken by my own shadow and i failed to hold my space. Failed to follow the golden rule of stepping back, letting the QVSWPP lead and despite Sree Maa Shri Ji’s Guidance to work as a team and not form subgroups, i drew to mostly one of the volunteers, giving Irene the stage to take the lead and break the group apart. On gentle feedback from Sree Maa Shri Ji i looked at myself and worked hard to correct the slight annoyance and jealousy i felt towards Irene, never realizing the disruptive role Irene played at that time.

Looking within at one’s own dark/grey shades is essential if you ever want to move into your higher potential. Sree Maa has always provided a most loving space and guidance for genuine reflection. This is something i had to learn though, initially my ego didn’t find it easy to receive feedback given out of pure Love and care for the true Soul and i even complained about it to another FiT. This really shows the smallness of the ego and is all the more reason to overcome it. Am extremely grateful Sree Maa patiently and lovingly held my hand and encouraged me to look within and reflect so the true Soul could blossom. The true Soul in it's highest potential as the Brahmroop is always in selfless seva to and union with the One and Only One 💖 

Key point to note is that people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder don’t take feedback very well and if you dare to call a narcissist out on their true face, you better brace yourself for their revenge. Narcissist go to great lengths to protect their fake image and are really good at acting, basically because they believe their own lies. This was and is also very much the case with Irene, now calling herself Joy.

The alpha female behaviour Irene/Joy/Tzu-Ling Kuo displayed is typical of narcissists, but they play clever, they like to communicate with people one on one and have a specific strategy for each one they are dealing with. What i later found out is that Irene was trying to fill Sree Maa’s ears about each one of the volunteers, to no avail by the way. However, this backhand behaviour, Irene made sure not to show in front of me. 

To me Irene mostly played the soft, sweet and innocent one and the most hardworking volunteer who would sacrifice anything for Kosmic Fusion and Sree Maa Shri Ji, especially after i moved back to the Netherlands early 2014. She also played the victim at times and her trump card always was that she was doing it all for Sree Maa Shri Ji and Kosmic Fusion. Little did i know that she continued her bullying behaviour with the remaining volunteers in Sydney and managed to drive away numerous people who i had personally introduced to Kosmic Fusion and who were very happily involved and volunteering until they had to interface with Irene.

Deceit and manipulation

After i moved back to the Netherlands, i was not very involved at all with what was happening in Sydney (should have taken more of an interest but failed to do so). So, when i recently saw the Sydney FIT whatsapp group chat could not believe how Irene had been pushing everyone around and constantly demanding money in the name of Kosmic Fusion and Sree Maa Shri Ji (who knew nothing about this) for all the expos they attended. It was all Irene’s ambition and overdrive that they went to so many festivals and expos. All this while, Irene had made it appear that no one Sydney was contributing and that only her and Hanuman, whom she had carefully groomed and manipulated (this is what narcissist are very good at), exploiting his dedication and loyalty for Sree Maa Shri Ji and Kosmic Fusion, were the one doing all the volunteer work. Recommend anyone to read his blog also.

Am still baffled at all the lies and the extent to which Irene went to keep up the image of a hardworking volunteer and later on a sincere devotee who would sacrifice anything, her job, her sleep, her time for Kosmic Fusion and Sree Maa Shri Ji. A carefully crafted mask. As i said, narcissists are great actors. What she was doing behind Sree Maa Shri Ji’s back and everyone else’s, she never mentioned of course and she created plenty of smoke and mirrors and flying monkeys to hide it all. 

Just a small sample of her so-called “selfless service”: siphoning out data from Kosmic Fusion, approaching these contacts for her own business, passing off Kosmic Fusion Intellectual Property and copy righted materials as her own to bank on it, abusing Kosmic Fusion resources left right and centre for her own benefit and plans, pitting FiTs against each other, filling volunteers ears, scheming plans to get some volunteers out of the FiT Programme. 

Even found out she tried to get me out of the FiT Programme behind my back. She sent an email to Jeeya, who was our Mentor’s personal assistant at the time looking after the emails, saying another volunteer and i did not attend one of the workshops the year before hinting that we were not eligible for the upcoming pivotal workshop of the FiT Programme end of 2015. This is how narcissists operate, on the sly. Sree Maa Shri Ji immediately put a stop to her move.

Fooled by the façade
None of this Irene/Joy ever told me of course and in fact i looked up to her as i had fallen for her image of sincere volunteer and devotee and even put herself above me in my head. Here is where my doer subtly played up and i made the mistake of not following the golden Guidance of Sree Maa of no hierarchy. Gotta give it to Irene, she is one good actress. Though it is also my lack of awareness and ability to pick up on nuances and see through someone’s façade. Had i paid attention and not kept my rose coloured glasses on, would have seen that the face Irene was putting up and her choice of words are not those of a humble, meek person, but of a big ambitious jealous pushover that was only there to promote her own agenda. 

How to recognize service to self types and narcissists... 

P.S.
My intention to share these experiences is so that it is helpful for others who may find themselves in a similar situation

Why this blog?

Why this blog?

Thank you for coming to this blog, which is my personal sharing of what happened to us – a small group of volunteers who were part of a most precious FiT Programme. i am not a psychologist but have done extensive research into narcissism after what happened to try to understand and learn.

This includes learning about my own weaknesses and oblivion that gave the covert manipulators such a platform; for the longest time i had no idea what these toxic people were up to and how they were using all of us as a supply.

What i am sharing is my personal experience and analysis of what happened. The toxicity some of the people in the group displayed is of such a concern that through this sharing i hope to make others aware.

The ones with toxic agendas had been telling our mentor Sree Maa Shri Ji since 2013 Oct as well as the rest of us that they want to serve, they really want to take the work of Kosmic Fusion to the world. i took their words at face value and trusted them.

As it turned out, instead of serving they were operating under the radar pursuing their own selfish and destructive agendas. Yet there were given many chances to transform. Key part of the FiT Programme was looking at the shades of the small self, to be able to awaken, transform and transcend the small self, embody the Self to finally attain the Brahmroop (SELF).

Sree Maa was showing so much Grace and Compassion to help them look at the shades they were holding and making them see how they were completely out of touch with reality. Unfortunately, these toxic people continued to play games.

If Sree Maa Shri Ji wouldn’t have stopped them, they would have actually been working with the people in the world by using the platform of Kosmic Fusion. When a place was reached where it was absolutely not okay for Sree Maa Shri Ji to have them use the platform of Kosmic Fusion, they were removed. 

Typical of narcissists, they colluded to run a smear campaign to slander Sree Maa Shri Ji and Kosmic Fusion in the media.

Today they are out there and based on the patterns we have seen they are going to get other people. Now it is the responsibility of others to do their homework before interacting with them, because their track record doesn’t look very promising. However, we wish them all the best and we wish they’d change.

Throughout this blog i refer to certain admittance these toxic people have given about their behaviour and motives. It is the utmost Grace of Shreeji Maharaj and the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse that we even succeeded to this extent for them to speak the truth. 

To actually make a narcissist speak the truth is impossible. So, the kind of information we’ve got through them is quite something. Because they were very sure Sree Maa Shri Ji is so compassionate and because it was happening in a safe space, they were just letting it all out. Of course, as narcissists do nothing without an agenda, it was with an agenda to be absorbed back into the group again. 

Based on their behaviour after they left, it doesn’t look like they were really wanting to change. The proof is the paid revenge article they published, which is a complete sham and lie. 

Irene/Komal changed her name to Joy Kuo/Joy Vottus and is now shamelessly calling herself a spiritual healer whereas she hasn’t done the work on herself. Iphigenie Amoutzias/Dallia/Meera has moved to Europe, changed her name to Malana Taresi and claims to be a flower essence healer. 

You draw your own conclusion about what their moves mean. Forwarned is forarmed…