Friday, 31 August 2018

Trust and faith

On any spiritual path, trust and faith are key. On the path of ultimate liberation, trust and faith are indispensable.

The FiT Intake ceremony in October 2013 was all about trust and faith. Sree Maa Shri Ji graciously invited us to join an Awakenin Transformation workshop taking place in Auckland and offered the FiT intake ceremony completely complimentary.

In the Awakenin Transformation workshop, Sree Maa removes the dense obsolete 3D/4D grids, activates the true Soul and Graces each one with a 24/7 connection to the most benevolent Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse, the Supreme Signature of the Shunya Bindu, the Swaminarayan Mahamantra.

We were asked to lie down under the feet of the new attendees of the workshop and we all knew that it is through the feet that the discordant energies leave. How comfortable were we to lie under the feet of the participants? How much did we trust Sree Maa Shri Ji and the process? i had no problems lying under the feet of the participants.

Shortly after the FiT intake ceremony, i moved back to the Netherlands at Sree Maa Shri Ji’s Guidance. Had big ego resistance but still i went, a leap of faith, but i trusted Sree Maa Shri Ji and moved. Went to the last place my ego wanted to go, back to my parents’ house at the age of 40 in a country i have tried my whole life to run away from.

Everything fell into place graciously. For example, found a job within no time, was picked out of 300 applicants, after having been away from the Netherlands for 8 years and with no network or recent experience in Holland to speak of. If this is not the Grace of Bhagwan,what is?

Sharing a letter that i wrote to my true SELF in April 2014 where you can see my leap of faith verbalized. i still go back to this letter at times. Know in my heart it is only the Grace and Power of Bhagwan that enabled me to write this letter.

Each and every day am humbled by the Greatness and Glory of Bhagwan and my beloved Sarvopari Sadguru Sree Maa. Each day some revelation comes, or out of the blue feel embraced in their Supreme Love and Compassion. Even when the ego is trying to kick up a storm (and before it will leave it will try it’s very best to create drama), unwavering trust and faith sit still and strong in my Atma, whose creator and illuminator is Bhagwan. i know nothing and don't need to know anything as everything is taken care of by the All-Doer, my isht-Dev Bhagwan Swaminarayan. 

How can one not have trust and faith in the Supreme Being, the most benevolent, utmost kind and gracious and supremely All-knowing One and Only One?

There was one of the FiTs, however, who always displayed her lack of trust and faith in subtle and not so subtle ways. Looking back, it is obvious how Dallia/Iphigenie Amoutzias was purposely spreading seeds of doubt. Someone with pathological envy and jealousy cannot bear to see others have what they don’t have. This is not something i am making up, this is something she has admitted to herself at a time when she did reflect a little, at the time of the Reunion. Though it did not last, and she reverted back to her old wounds and intentions. 

Her intention was to destroy Kosmic Fusion and she never let this go. This too she has admitted herself. You can listen to her calmly reading the reflections she wrote in her own time at her own place. Guess she was hoping to ‘buy her way back into the group’ pretending to really want to change and continue her mission of destruction. The fact she is now leading a smear campaign against Kosmic Fusion and beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji shows her true intention.

Like i said, spreading seeds of doubts was Iphigenie Amoutzias/Dallia's modus operandi. Very clever, if you want to make sure the mission of Kosmic Fusion is foiled and souls don’t move forward on their spiritual journey, you would hack at the trust and faith of others. She was entrusted with being the representative of Kosmic Fusion in New Zealand and was the one often hosing the Kosmic Tribe (gatherings of Pulsars) and Kosmic Meetups where anyone could come to experience the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse. Behind Sree Maa Shri Ji’s back, she would purposely poison the minds of participants against Sree Maa Shri Ji, especially by sowing seeds of doubt.

She tried it twice with me, once earlier on in 2014, but my reply was i don’t know how, but the faith and trust is just there, unwavering, like a silent anchor i can go back to in any moment. That shut her up. 

Only last year on the India Pilgrimage she gave it another go with me. As we were getting off the bus, she was en passant saying how she had trouble believing in Sree Maa Shri Ji and had a smirk on her face when she said it. i was stunned how someone who was living in the Ashram with their Sarvopari Sadguru could have such doubts. To my question what are you doing in the Ashram then, she never gave an honest answer and tried to divert the topic. But the truth came out anyway, as truth eventually always wins.

Jai Shree Swaminarayan

Thursday, 23 August 2018


What does volunteering mean to you? Volunteering to me means offering your time and services for a greater cause without any selfish agenda or motive from a genuine place, not expecting anything back. Felt extremely grateful Sree Maa Shri Ji offered us the opportunity to volunteer to take the great work that Kosmic Fusion offers to more people. To be able to witness other souls being touched so profoundly by the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse is such a blessing and so humbling.

In volunteering for Kosmic Fusion, being the non-doer was key. Stepping back and letting the ALL-KNOWING Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse, this most precious Swaminarayan Mahamantra shared boundlessly by Sree Maa Shri Ji with humanity, do the work.

Might i add that we have always been given utmost freedom to volunteer: it was based on Trust. Sree Maa Shri Ji trusted us to come from authenticity, honesty, integrity and transparency as these were the key principles that Sree Maa Shri Ji held very high and lived by example 100%. A rare find in this world.

Also, anyone was free to leave at any point in time. Never ever was there any pressure or enforcement to volunteer. In fact, it was us who approached Sree Maa Shri Ji and asked if we could be involved.

Fake volunteers with vicious agendas

Have always done my best to come from a place of authenticity, honesty and integrity.  Of course, i am not perfect, had and have my ego shades, and have made my mistakes, letting the doer step in on occasion. But i have been willing to look at that, learn and grow from it.

Two of the FiTs in the group, Dallia/Ipigenie Amoutzias and Irene/Joy/Tzu-Ling Kuo, behaved differently and never changed their ways. Interestingly, these two are now the ones who are now crying wolf and claim they have done so much for Kosmic Fusion but are now slinging mud at Kosmic Fusion and Sree Maa Shri Ji.

Let’s look at the facts.   
Iphigenie Amoutzias/Dallia was given a group of 25-30 volunteers/FiTS and Pulsars (people who have attended to revolutionary Awakenin Transformation workshop) to work with in New Zealand. End result where Iphigenie/Dallia was the representative: EVERYONE has left but 1 FiT is remaining (though Dallia tried her very best to get Nandini out). She made sure everyone else left. What has come out is shocking. She was spreading lies about Kosmic Fusion and doubts about Sree Maa Shri Ji at the gatherings. She made sure volunteers were pitted against each other and started to argue and fight. What kind of volunteering is this??? Iphigenie herself afterwards confessed that her mission was to destroy Kosmic Fusion.

Let’s look at what happened in Sydney where Komal/Tzu-Ling Kuo/Irene Kuo/Joy Awakening (which is her latest name) had forcefully taken the lead and was the representative of Kosmic Fusion. Same result: most people left! 
Why you may wonder? Irene always wanted to be in control, her bossy behaviour did not go down very well with most people, she was also putting others down so they left. Tzu-Ling/Joy tried so hard, so much effort was put in, many expos and festivals Irene attended, but she wasn’t able to have success as she forgot the one golden rule: step back and let the QVSWPP step in.
But her actions were more sinister, she not only started to promote Kosmic Fusion but her own business Holistic Freedom, putting up banner with a big photo of herself and Hanuman whom she had carefully groomed, she siphoned out data from Kosmic Fusion and approached these contacts for her own business, she falsely claimed to be a Facilitator of Kosmic Fusion and the list goes on and on.

Genuineness and growth

Now let’s look at what is happening in other regions where genuine volunteers where humbly offering their time. There the number of Pulsars and people involved with Kosmic Fusion grew! In the Netherlands, i had the great honour to witness how word of mouth just brought people in. Did not have to do anything as i knew it was not me doing anything: the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse knows, Bhagwan knows and without the Will of Bhagwan not even a leaf can move. Have no words to express how humbling it is to be able to witness something so Great and Magnanimous.

What happens when you ask questions to fake volunteers?

The kind of ‘volunteering’ two of the FiTs offered was anything but volunteering. Irene/Joy was driven by her selfish motive of money and fame and Dallia/Iphigenie was hellbent on destruction. The results speak for themselves. Both were set on having the control. Now that their true motive and face is out, instead of chosing to reflect and change, they are running a smear campaign – and yes this is what narcissists do. Could not have summed it up better than this:

Feel strongly to bring out the Truth as while remaining silent will only enable this kind of people who unfortunately roam in every walk of life including spiritual circles and Satsangs. 

One final note. Now, Irene Kuo/Joy Awakening is now claiming that Kosmic Fusion cost her $100,000 in time, money and the loss of income from quitting her job as a university librarian to volunteer full-time. Really, what can one say???!!! This in itself proves that she wasn’t there to volunteer but only had money on her mind. Nobody asked her to volunteer or to quit her job. She was and is driven by greed – one of the key inner enemies that people are struggling with on this planet. She has been given so much Grace and support by Sree Maa Shri Ji to overcome this but chose not to. That is the thing with Grace, it is given unconditionally, but are you ready to receive it?

P.S. Am only sharing my experiences so that it may be of benefit to those going through similar situations. It took me a while to wake up and smell the coffee, hope it won't take others this long. 

Monday, 20 August 2018

Beyond the mask

When i recently watch the video testimonials from 2013 that we had given after one of the workshops in Sydney, something struck me. While everyone is humbled and grateful to be so deeply touched by the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse and forever indebted to Sree Maa Shri Ji, Irene talks about how she has become an instant healer…. It’s all about her and her healing powers now that she is emitting the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse. Where is the non-doer? Where is the homage to Sree Maa Shri Ji, living embodiment of the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse, The Supreme Grace lighting up the path of liberation for the True Soul? These are the signs that can make one aware of who you are sharing the space with... Does it scream me me me or is there a sense of humilty, gratitude and awe. 

Tzu-Ling Kuo/Joy/Irene’s testimonial:
See other’s testimonials via:

The mask falls off - it must in the Presence of Absolute Truth

After Irene's true face came out, we all had a good look at all her promotional materials online and offline and it was a shocker to see how she has consistently stolen Kosmic Fusion Intellectual Property. All her materials glorify herself and minimize Sree Maa Shri Ji without whom the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave would not even be in our lives. She falsely portrays herself as Facilitator of Kosmic Fusion and even gave an interview without permission, using everything the way she wanted for her own selfish motives of attracting ‘clients’ as she called them.

Interestingly, she had made a big scene about two others FiTs in Sydney printing a brochure about Bhakti Bhaav without permission from Sree Maa Shri Ji but forgot to mention what all she was doing behind everyone’s back. As long as everyone’s eyes would be focused on somebody else, no one would clue on to what Irene was doing behind the scenes. Narcissists love creating smokes and mirrors and project their wrong doings onto others.

Nearly fell of my chair when i saw one of the documents Irene had written, well plagiarized really, she had called it 77 benefits of Holistic Freedom (the name of her business). She had copy pasted some text from a website and then inserted Quantum Vortex at her will, even adding her own business name in front of Quantum Vortex, using and abusing the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse anyhow she likes. Such disrespect to Sree Maa Shri Ji and this most sacred and benevolent Mother of Energies, Frequencies and Vibrations.  

Her masks finally started to crack during the Reunion held in July 2017. This was organized by the FiTs to come together to honestly look at what each one had contributed to the FiT Programme and to get closure. At one point she pulled me aside and started to fill my ears about others.
 i did not like that as we are here to look at our own shades not to judge others. While there was an open and honest discussion going on, Irene would disrupt the flow and point fingers at Hanuman, the very seem person whom she had been using and abusing for over 5 years. While everyone was sincerely filling out the questionnaires put together by a few of us to help us reflect, she excused herself and did not want to fill it out. Now we know, she had a lot to hide… 

Embraced by boundless Grace

Sree Maa Shri Ji are the most Kind, Loving and Gracious you will ever come across and believe in the potential of the Absolute in everyone. Sree Maa Shri Ji do not judge anyone, so all types are welcome to join. All the support, all the Love, Grace and Guidance has been given to each and everyone one of the FiT to overcome their issues and move into the non-doer and their higher potential. In fact, Sree Maa has given over and beyond of what is humanly possible. There is no doubt in my heart and mind about the Greatness of Sree Maa Shri Ji, though my mind is not able to fully fathom someone so boundless and unconditionally loving. The entire world says #nocontact with narcissists, but Sree Maa has such a big heart and embraces everyone unconditionally and without any judgement so that radical healing can take place. Please read the mind-blowing blogs of Nandini and Jeeya as they let Sree Maa’s Supreme Grace touch them and help them transform.

Sree Maa Shri Ji, living embodiment of Supreme Grace and Compassion, sharing the most benevolent Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse unconditionally with all 24/7. It is Sree Maa's ekantik Bhakti to the Supreme holder of the Shunya Bindu, Bhagwan Swaminarayan that we receive as the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse. 

Only sharing my experiences so that it may be helpful to others in my situation

Selfless service vs service to self

My first encounter with Irene/Joy/Tzu-Ling Kuo, one of the volunteers, was not a smooth one. She was pushy and constantly pointing out mistakes of others. It’s only in hindsight that i can put the pieces together and realize that since the time Irene joined, the harmony in the group plummeted big time. At the time i was still too overtaken by my own shadow and i failed to hold my space. Failed to follow the golden rule of stepping back, letting the QVSWPP lead and despite Sree Maa Shri Ji’s Guidance to work as a team and not form subgroups, i drew to mostly one of the volunteers, giving Irene the stage to take the lead and break the group apart. On gentle feedback from Sree Maa Shri Ji i looked at myself and worked hard to correct the slight annoyance and jealousy i felt towards Irene, never realizing the disruptive role Irene played at that time.

Looking within at one’s own dark/grey shades is essential if you ever want to move into your higher potential. Sree Maa has always provided a most loving space and guidance for genuine reflection. This is something i had to learn though, initially my ego didn’t find it easy to receive feedback given out of pure Love and care for the true Soul and i even complained about it to another FiT. This really shows the smallness of the ego and is all the more reason to overcome it. Am extremely grateful Sree Maa patiently and lovingly held my hand and encouraged me to look within and reflect so the true Soul could blossom. The true Soul in it's highest potential as the Brahmroop is always in selfless seva to and union with the One and Only One 

Key point to note is that people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder don’t take feedback very well and if you dare to call a narcissist out on their true face, you better brace yourself for their revenge. Narcissist go to great lengths to protect their fake image and are really good at acting, basically because they believe their own lies. This was and is also very much the case with Irene, now calling herself Joy.

The alpha female behaviour Irene/Joy/Tzu-Ling Kuo displayed is typical of narcissists, but they play clever, they like to communicate with people one on one and have a specific strategy for each one they are dealing with. What i later found out is that Irene was trying to fill Sree Maa’s ears about each one of the volunteers, to no avail by the way. However, this backhand behaviour, Irene made sure not to show in front of me. 

To me Irene mostly played the soft, sweet and innocent one and the most hardworking volunteer who would sacrifice anything for Kosmic Fusion and Sree Maa Shri Ji, especially after i moved back to the Netherlands early 2014. She also played the victim at times and her trump card always was that she was doing it all for Sree Maa Shri Ji and Kosmic Fusion. Little did i know that she continued her bullying behaviour with the remaining volunteers in Sydney and managed to drive away numerous people who i had personally introduced to Kosmic Fusion and who were very happily involved and volunteering until they had to interface with Irene.

Deceit and manipulation

After i moved back to the Netherlands, i was not very involved at all with what was happening in Sydney (should have taken more of an interest but failed to do so). So, when i recently saw the Sydney FIT whatsapp group chat could not believe how Irene had been pushing everyone around and constantly demanding money in the name of Kosmic Fusion and Sree Maa Shri Ji (who knew nothing about this) for all the expos they attended. It was all Irene’s ambition and overdrive that they went to so many festivals and expos. All this while, Irene had made it appear that no one Sydney was contributing and that only her and Hanuman, whom she had carefully groomed and manipulated (this is what narcissist are very good at), exploiting his dedication and loyalty for Sree Maa Shri Ji and Kosmic Fusion, were the one doing all the volunteer work. Recommend anyone to read his blog also.

Am still baffled at all the lies and the extent to which Irene went to keep up the image of a hardworking volunteer and later on a sincere devotee who would sacrifice anything, her job, her sleep, her time for Kosmic Fusion and Sree Maa Shri Ji. A carefully crafted mask. As i said, narcissists are great actors. What she was doing behind Sree Maa Shri Ji’s back and everyone else’s, she never mentioned of course and she created plenty of smoke and mirrors and flying monkeys to hide it all. 

Just a small sample of her so-called “selfless service”: siphoning out data from Kosmic Fusion, approaching these contacts for her own business, passing off Kosmic Fusion Intellectual Property and copy righted materials as her own to bank on it, abusing Kosmic Fusion resources left right and centre for her own benefit and plans, pitting FiTs against each other, filling volunteers ears, scheming plans to get some volunteers out of the FiT Programme. 

Even found out she tried to get me out of the FiT Programme behind my back. She sent an email to Jeeya, who was our Mentor’s personal assistant at the time looking after the emails, saying another volunteer and i did not attend one of the workshops the year before hinting that we were not eligible for the upcoming pivotal workshop of the FiT Programme end of 2015. This is how narcissists operate, on the sly. Sree Maa Shri Ji immediately put a stop to her move.

Fooled by the façade
None of this Irene/Joy ever told me of course and in fact i looked up to her as i had fallen for her image of sincere volunteer and devotee and even put herself above me in my head. Here is where my doer subtly played up and i made the mistake of not following the golden Guidance of Sree Maa of no hierarchy. Gotta give it to Irene, she is one good actress. Though it is also my lack of awareness and ability to pick up on nuances and see through someone’s façade. Had i paid attention and not kept my rose coloured glasses on, would have seen that the face Irene was putting up and her choice of words are not those of a humble, meek person, but of a big ambitious jealous pushover that was only there to promote her own agenda. 

How to recognize service to self types and narcissists... 

My intention to share these experiences is so that it is helpful for others who may find themselves in a similar situation

Sunday, 19 August 2018

Wolf in sheep clothing

Being the non-doer was the crux of the matter and seemingly simple. Yet have learned how the shades of the doer, the ego can slyly step in and play up. When the doer is in the front seat it spells trouble and when the doer has completely taken you over, disaster is inevitable. This i have experienced and seen with my own eyes in the FiT Programme – a priceless Gift of Awakenin Transformation Transcendence where Sree Maa Shri Ji has been Graciously waking us up to the Absolute Truth, lovingly and tirelessly supporting and guiding us in every possible way to move beyond the small self/the ego with its dark shades into our higher potential, the True SELF to ultimately reach where we truly belong in seva to and union with the One and Only One.

Sree Maa started the trial FiT Programme in October 2013 (completely complimentary) out of compassion, kindness and trust based on the requests, questions and keenness displayed by a few Practitioners, myself included, to volunteer and be part of Kosmic Fusion Mission to take it to many more. We wrote letters to Sree Maa at the FiT Intake Ceremony, held in Auckland New Zealand about why we felt we were ready to become a Facilitator and how would we contribute to the Mission of Kosmic Fusion. Remember when reading my letter to Sree Maa Shri Ji could not keep my eyes dry. What i didn’t know is that some people wrote a letter that wasn’t truthful…

Stealth mode

Have not only seen the doer play up in myself, but in its pinnacle form in one of the other volunteers who was also part of the FIT Programme, Irene/Joy/Tzu-Ling Kuo. Straight when she started volunteering, she was quite domineering and wanted things to be done her way. In fact, she turned out to be the biggest doer with a hidden agenda that was so twisted, i still find it hard to get my head around it. Her agenda was to shamelessly replace Sree Maa Shri Ji and turn a sacred selfless mission into a profitable business for herself where she could be the face – she was completely driven by greed and ambition. Combine these vices with lack of ethics and conscience and you have got a toxic cocktail that wreaked havoc in the FiT team in Sydney and in the whole FIT Programme. But for most of the years while the FIT Training was happening, the other volunteers including me had no clue as Irene operated in stealth mode... Covert narcissist indeed epitomize a wolf in sheep clothing.

Can also recommend you read this entry of Simran's blog

Am sharing my experiences as it may be helpful for others who are going through a similar experience.  

Wednesday, 15 August 2018

Be the non-doer

Six years ago, i had the great fortune to join a workshop that would change my life completely. Now i know that for me as a spiritual seeker to even show up at that workshop is all the Supreme Grace of Bhagwan only but at that time i didn’t know this. In 7 sessions Founder and Visionary of Kosmic Fusion, Sree Maa Shri Ji removed the obsolete 3D and 4D grids and awakened our True Soul. i had no clue at that time of the magnanimity of the Gift of Grace that had been bestowed upon me but was so profoundly touched that when the opportunity was Graced to volunteer a couple of months later at the Kosmic Fusion stand at the Mind Body Spirit festival in Sydney, i did not hesitate for a second. What happened was such a revelation, can still feel the awe and bliss just thinking about it.

Whenever visitors came to the stand and sat down on one of the chairs, Sree Maa Shri Ji explained to simply stand behind them lightly place our hands on the person’s shoulders and we did not have to do anything, no intention needed, simply letting the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse do what it needs to. This Supreme Signature of the Source-Void, Graciously shared by Sree Maa Shri Ji 24/7, is All-knowing and All-powerful and knows exactly what each one needs on all levels in all dimensions, spontaneous healing is a by-product. The testimonials of visitors were astounding and most humbling.

This was a first tangible experience of being the non-doer that Sree Maa Shri Ji Graciously elaborated on in the QVSWPP Practitioner Training that followed. Non-doer or akarmi was a new concept to me at the time. Much more than a concept, this was a profound introduction to Truth, but this eluded me still then. “Step back and let the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse step in. And if you step in, the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse will step out.” These two profound messages Sree Maa Shri Ji repeatedly spoke have been a guiding light throughout the years. Non-doer also means not having any intention or desire for the fruits of the action and being extremely humble, knowing who is the All-Doer, that not even a leaf can move without the Will of Bhagwan.  

Would like to end with some beautiful pearls of wisdom shared by Sree Maa Shri Ji on facebook recently:

Jai Shree Swaminarayan

Am sharing my experiences as i feel it may be helpful for others that may encounter similar situations.