2014 was a year of change for me and one where trust grew. At the Guidance of Sree Maa Shri Ji, end
of January 2014 i moved from Sydney back to the Netherlands. Actually,
Sree Maa had already been hinting that Australia was not the place for me, i
would only encounter endless karmic challenges, but i didn’t like the idea of
moving back to the Netherlands. Sunny, tropical Australia was much more
appealing to my ego.
Eventually
after Sree Maa graciously mentioned it two more times, i went together with my daughter back to my parents' house, my ego came along kicking and screaming. And
through the unfathomable Grace of Bhagwan, my child’s father let us go. Also feel it is the Shakti of Bhagwan only that i actually made the move.
Would also like to take a moment to offer my gratitude to my Kalyan Mitra,
dear Archita, who kindly let my daughter and me stay at her place in Dubai on
the stop-over halfway to Europe. Her deep Faith and beautiful presence
somehow calmed me down and moved me more into the mode of acceptance.
Cannot say the first few months were easy, but this was only the experience of the personality, on a deeper level surrender had taken place and my Soul could begin to blossom.
Cannot say the first few months were easy, but this was only the experience of the personality, on a deeper level surrender had taken place and my Soul could begin to blossom.
So yes,
back in my parent’s house at the age of 40, with a 4 hour commute each day to
and from work. Now my mind would make one thing of it, but something deeper would
stir and actually those train journeys i took the time to tune in with the
Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse (QVSWPP) and reflect. This was exactly what i needed. The job had miraculously
fallen into my lap despite the fact that i had not lived in the Netherlands for over 8 years and there were 300 applications for that position. There were many more examples in that time that would show how powerfully the QVSWPP can manifest what is needed, as long
as we remain step back.
Let me
share some exercises (one highlighted below) that i did at the Guidance of Sree
Maa Shri Ji in one of the many Facilitators in Training calls Sree Maa Graced
us with, completely for free. The force i am
talking about is the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse, the beautiful
Grace that when we step back, are real and honest with ourselves and TRUST will
work ITs magic.
Started
feeling uncomfortable after my mum mentioned her vision/advice for my future,
'find a cheap old rental in Den Helder' (a town in the far corners of NL) 'sth
you can afford when you can't find a job again when you are on a pension again
after this maternity leave position ends'. This hit an ego sore spot.... This
brought up feelings of doubt, resentment over my decision to come to the
Netherlands, feeling even more stuck and trapped. So when I sat down very late
in the evening that day and recalled this moment, felt contracted at the heart,
heavy, sad anger, frustration came up. At some point started to lean and slouch
forward so sad. Started feeling dizzy in the head, slight pressure at temples.
I just let it be. After a while started feeling very very sleepy. I lay down in
a child's pose position and then feel asleep...
That morning woke up and
first sat in receptive mode for 11 minutes. Then I tuned in again to the moment
of the previous day and still noticed a cocktail of sadness, despair, anger,
heaviness in my heart area and in the energy field around my heart. Again I just
let it all be. The mind wanted to race and loop in it's sorry thoughts but
there was an unmistakenly powerful 'invisible force' (best way I can describe)
that instantly with a calming soothing effect made everything feel spacious and
still in the mind, melting away the thoughts & upsetting emotions. Then
Faith & Trust came back. I felt peaceful again.
It feels actually very freeing to not get sucked into the small self’s drama. Sree Maa once described the ego as follows: a drunken monkey with its tail on fire bitten by a scorpion. Think that’s sums it up quite well. And that is part of the P.R.O.C.E.S.S., to keep the ego in check.
In my Soul
Mapping session in 2013, Sree Maa Shri Ji had given a certain Guidance that really
touched my heart: “embrace everything that
happens with love and grace”. And this would come back to me a lot in this year,
especially when i encountered more difficult situations. Now i know that a true
Aashrit/Devotee sees and understands everything that happens as a GIFT of
Bhagwan only. Slowly, was moving into this understanding.
2014 was
also the practical training ground for the FiT Programme, where we helped
organize a lot of online events and Awakenin Transformation workshops, which
Sree Maa Shri Ji would always conduct. We were lucky enough to be able to join
those workshops as part of the Training but would always log out for the 0 zero
session, where Sree Maa Shri Ji removed the dense obsolete 3D/4D Grids of the participants.
Now this
wasn’t so much about organizing, as it was about learning to remain stepped
back and being the non-doer, letting the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse weave IT’s miracles. This seems
simple but actually requires constant awareness and practice as the doer will
step in. Sree Maa was always emphasizing to work as a team, work in oneness,
and through many training calls and Discourses was giving everything to support
this, but not all made the effort to honour this.
Some in the FiT group did not make an effort to step back, instead they were constantly meddling. We were all supposed to rotate with helping out online but Dallia/Iphigenie Amoutzias would try to hog all the online events for herself, pushing other FiTs to the background. This was around the same time where she was sowing seeds of doubts during the meditation evenings and Kosmic Tribes. She was making sure the unity would not happen. Same goes for Irene/Tzu-Ling Kuo/Joy who was acting like the boss in Sydney, creating hierarchy and pushing away volunteers with her bullying.
But at the time i was
still sleeping and unaware of this sabotage going on…
