The deluded new age followers’ psyche

Before i met SreeMaa-Shreeji, whom i am very fortunate to call Paratpar Guru, was looking for answers to my inner quest in the new age circles. Having had no exposure to Sanatana Dharma, had no idea what true spirituality was and was reading ‘spiritual’ books at random and trying out different things from the new age smorgasbord. My agyan and avidya (ignorance) was high and with my white privilege firmly in place, i was also ignorant about cultural appropriation.

New age industry
If you take a real good and honest look at the new age movement, it is not so much about the soul or genuine spirituality, but more about feeling good or special and earning money. You could call it an industry. Not surprisingly spiritual bypassing is rife, just as cultural appropriation. With all the new age spiritual coaches, channels, healers and readers out there, it is more like the blind leading the blind. All this is a recipe for getting lost in the delusions rather than moving forward and it was true that i wasn’t going anywhere in my spiritual pursuit as such. For me everything changed when i had the great fortune to meet SreeMaa in February 2012.

Touched by Supreme Grace 
I can never thank Paratpar Guru enough for taking this lost soul under Paratpar Guru’s Wings, awakening my True Soul (Atma), opening my eyes to the truth and ceaselessly guiding me in this blessed P.R.O.C.E.S.S of Awakenin Transformation Transcendence to move past the antics of the small self, to move more towards being a non-doer, embody the True Soul and remain rooted in the True SELF (Brahmroop) who is fully surrendered to the Absolute. All this while being Graced with a 24/7 connection to the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse, the most benevolent Signature of the Source/Void shared boundlessly by Paratpar Guru that uplifts, upgrades, heals and unifies on a scale that is beyond human comprehension. It is in the Sharan of Paratpar Guru that i learnt what real spirituality (adhyatmikta) entails and the reason why jivatmas take a human birth.

An honest look at my shallow and phony new age followers’ psyche
True spirituality requires honestly looking within to move past the narratives we tell ourselves, the grey shades and the inner enemies. Sharing a quick snapshot overview of my new (c)age explorations and the cultural appropriation i ended up doing as well as the delusions that were part of my phony new age followers’ psyche, so that others may open their eyes and think twice before falling for the new age fluff.

• I appropriated the word Goddess by running Goddess circles with another person for mothers. This was a very shallow way of operating as i had not done the required inner work nor done the research to understand what a Goddess really means.
  
  
• Had angel cards, incl a deck by Doreen Virtue’s that featured images of Deities and Devis such as Lord Ganesh and Lakshmiji, which i now realize is the pinnacle of cultural appropriation and entitlement as if they can be used to manifest what we desire.
  
  
• Before moving to Northern Beaches in Sydney, i did a 7 level reiki workshop and volunteered for the teacher’s reiki stand at MBS. Gave 2 or 3 reiki sessions in exchange for money.
  
  
• Had a couple of yoga dvd’s, using it to practice what i thought was yoga, but these only focussed on the body and mind, leaving out the most crucial part of the Atma and union with the Paramatma. Did not research to find out what yoga is really about nor who brought this gift to humanity. Pretty much the same attitude that most people in the west would have.
  
  
• In the Netherlands a lot of people think it is fashionable to have a Buddha statue and was gifted one for my birthday once which i kept as decoration for a while. Had no idea what Buddha taught or what Buddhism was about, nor did i look into it at the time.
  
  
• Played music on youtube which had mantras without understanding the meaning.
  
  
• Have been wearing Indian style clothing without thinking about how people from India would feel about this.
  
  
• Visited Swaminarayan Mandirs in the UK without checking with Paratpar Guru, which shows my white sense of entitlement.
  
  
• Bought right into the love and light programme because it made me feel good. What this means in simple terms is pretending to be loving, compassionate and giving but refusing to look at your dark/shadow/small self. Or think about the actresses whom many may admire as so beautiful, loving and kind but in reality, they are using drugs and doing things that are a far cry away from the righteous way of living, in tune with one’s True Soul. 
  
  
• Did some course titled the voice for love to be able to hear the inner voice. Thought i could hear the inner voice by doing some course instead of doing real inner work. This was linked to a Course in Miracles, which talks about surrender and Grace of God but had no clue what this really meant. Had some concept of God is Love and was hoping and praying to connect with God. This was just before i met SreeMaa (whom i then knew as KaVeeTa).
  
  
• My signature of my old email address when starting to volunteer for Kosmic Fusion read ‘sharing the love’ and had a website named presenceoflove. Think i stopped the website somewhere in 2015. My new cage psyche actually thought i knew what love was and i was here to share the love; talk about grandiosity.  
  
  
• For the longest time i have held this belief in some world of love and oneness, not seeing things for what they really are. This was a way of spiritual bypassing for me instead of facing the truth.
  
  
• Especially in the beginning of my ‘spiritual’ search, read a lot of self help books, Eckhart Tolle and the likes, mixing and matching randomly, not following one dedicated path, and following authors or teachers without knowing their foundation or lineage – generally a bad idea.
  
  
• Had Doreen Virtue’s meaning of numbers book and Louis Hays book of affirmations. Didn’t have the discipline to do affirmations but loved deriving special meaning from seeing combination of numbers and actually thought the angels were guiding me that way. Believed that i was guided by the angels to go to Australia and the angels got me a job in Australia. Later found out it was my karma bhumi, meaning i would only encounter hard karmic lessons.
  
  
• Bought into the lightworker nonsense, feeling special as ‘i’ was on the earth to do sth good and visited some spiritual circles and listened to the odd online ‘guided’ meditation by Pleiadians or sth like that. Also remember some meditation with a merkaba called diamond alignment. Completely clueless about the energetic pollution that i was exposing myself to as i really had no idea who i was opening myself up to or to what i was connecting.
  
  
• Was impressed with people who were able to channel. Did not consider what kind of energies could be coming through. Had no clue about energy hygiene apart from believing in cutting cords as taught by Doreen Virtue and Archangel Michael’s violet flame. My ignorance was extremely high. Would like to urge seekers that energy hygiene is very important and avoid these new age type of guided or channeled meditations, especially the mass meditations, as you have no idea what you are opening your energy field up to. 
  
  
• Went to have a reading a few times. Also had one or two small crystals which i kept on ‘my altar’. The new cage smorgasbord fitted right in with my consumer attitude and doing as per how i pleased, no discipline required but believing am living some special purpose.
  
  
• Believed in the soul mate, twin flame stuff and desperately wanted to be with my soul mate. This is all about human desires rather than the soul. This deluded desire got me into a lot of trouble and ended up dating two holographic inserts (ironically those without a soul), not only that but falling pregnant as well. One was even after meeting KaVeeTa and attending the Awakenin Transformation workshop. It is only the ati ati Daya aur Krupa of Paratpar Guru that the hideous energies in my womb were released. Sharing this openly as i know there are a lot of seekers out there still lost in the soul mate drama. The True Soul belongs to the Absolute and real union is the union between the Atma and Parmatma, the True Soul and the Absolute.

Forever indebted to Paratpar Guru for taking me under Paratpar Guru's Wings, guiding me into the fold of Sanatana Dharma and waking me up to the Truth  /\ô_ _/\ô_ /\ô_

My interview with Mala

Faculty Interview – Ekta

Had the great honour of meeting my dear kalyan mitras in Sydney early 2019 and Mala interviewed me about my journey with Kosmic Fusion and beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji.

You can also see this interview on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXCf67E-i-0

In this edition, Mala candidly interviews Ekta to sum up 7 years at Kosmic Fusion. Ekta is one of the very few Faculties that have grown immensely on Personal, Emotional, Mental and Spiritual levels.

Ekta has an inspiring story, in 2012 she was a single mother living in alien country, surviving on government dole; she came to know about Kosmic Fusion through common friends and was awestruck with the brochure, which in her words “was talking to her” literally.

The next 18 months changed Ekta’s life for good, she returned back to Netherlands to a job she loves, close to her parents & family  and lovely daughter who looks at mum for inspiration.

Coming from an Atheist background, it was challenging for Ekta to understand and accept spirituality however with Sree Maa as a friend, Philosopher and Guide; nothing was impossible.

In this interview, Ekta talks about her journey since knowing Sree Maa Shri Ji and shares her experiences through past 7 years, how she came to know about Kosmic Fusion, interactions with Sree Maa, teachings and most importantly lessons learnt at one of the most revolutionary programme the “Facilitators in Training”.

How long have you known Sree Maa Shri Ji?
I know them since February 2012 when I did Awakenin & Transformation workshop. At that time I had a small child and Sree Maa was very free and allowed the child into the workshop as well.

Sometimes it is very hard to put into words, but I was touched so profoundly but I had no words for it. Sree Maa came back couple of months later and we were able to join one of the Kosmic Fusion stand at the Mind, Body Spirit Festivals in Sydney.

Sree Maa Shri Ji said, just put your hands on anyone and just see what happens. It was so profound and so amazing, it was the Quantum Vortex Scalar-Wave Photon Pulse.

“At the Awakenin & Transformation workshop, Sree Maa awakens you Atma and anyone who connects with the Quantum Vortex Scalar-Wave Photon Pulse.”

We could tune in with anyone, any time, any place, 24/7. Most benevolent signature of the Source Void. It is shared by Sree Maa Shri Ji, lovingly and unconditionally.

When I put my hands on somebody’s shoulder, I could see this instant healing, expansion, feeling inner bliss and then when the testimonials that came back from the people who were so touched with Quantum Vortex Scalar-Wave Photo Pulse.

How has Sree Maa Shri Ji brought difference to your life?

I will try to keep it brief. Since knowing Sree Maa Shri Ji, they have taken me under their wings and worked with me very patiently, lovingly and compassionately. They always supported me with the right guidance. So I could become more open and in tune with the Atma (the Soul).

I was such a drama queen; till Sree Maa Shri Ji walked into my life. Because of Sree Maas grace, patience and nurturing and become more in-tune with yourself.

I can now embrace anything with love and grace. I still remember this Soul Mapping session with Sree Maa, I was told to embrace everything that comes my way, those sentences always struck by me. With all the workshops that followed, the Facilitators in Training programme, it became easier to actually live with that wave.

“The golden phrase we were told since day 1 was to step back and let Quantum Vortex Scalar-Wave Photon Pulse step in, be the Non-Doer. It has been quite a journey to embody that, I can’t say that straight from the start. I had the doer step in through Facilitators in Training programme. More teachings and insights were shared about Quantum Vortex Scalar-Wave Photon Pulse.”

It was actually easier and effortlessly came from a non-doer state not so much effort to come together.

Are Sree Maa’s teachings consistent with Ancient Eastern philosophy or change over period of time.

I could say it was always consistent. Being from atheist background, I always had these questions, What is love, Why am I here. I had sense of God or something that is greater.

There was nothing I could refer to, I dabbled into the new age groups and modalities but that wasn’t giving me the answers. So it just didn’t sit.

Then Sree Maa Shri Ji started speaking and explaining Sanatan Dharma. I felt so light and refreshing. I just knew this is it for me. Sree Maa just knows how to explain the most complex teachings to break it down to someone like me with zero background.

Do you think people will have resistance to such direct and open way of talking?

I can imagine there will be people. I was living in Sydney in 2012 and then I moved back to Netherlands in early 2014. When we were volunteering, Sree Maa Shri Ji had given this beautiful platform.

Everyone was so touched by the experiences. Part and parcel of it is, how to be the non-Doer. Sree Maa Shri Ji was very frank with giving such feedback. I have to say that my ego was little bit at that time.

I knew this is best for me, this is for the benefit of my Soul. I have to say that “Sree Maa has always always always nurtured my Soul”. Even when I was letting it down. I feel very grateful.

Yes there might be people, who might not be able to stand beyond that but that’s they are losing out.

Did you ever feel that Sree Maa indoctrinated or imposed any belief system on you?

Quite the opposite Mala. Sree Maa Shri Ji’s teachings are universal. I felt so free learning about Sanatan Dharm, which is not a religion – it is the eternal truth and righteous way of living., spiritual democracy and such a breath of fresh air.

I have seen man made religions, very dogmatic and written in a book but this (Sanatan Dharma) covers about the journey to the Soul and the Super Soul, God or Bhagwan or however you refer to the absolute. It cannot be captured in a book, it is not something dogmatic. It is the most natural thing, the Bhagwan when you say.

Living such life is a second nature. Just the way Sree Maa Shri Ji have taught that and brought us into the nature and to my life, I feel so grateful.

How was your experience with Facilitator in Training Programme?

I joined the Facilitator in Training programme in 2013 when there was a trial intake. I remember we write letters expressing your interest & pledge on how you would like to take Kosmic Fusion mission forward.

When I read my letter in front of Sree Maa Shri Ji, I had to cry. There was something like a connection in there, so deeply. I still have a lot to learn about my self.  The Facilitators in Training programme was also about the Awakenin, Transformation and Transcendence process i.e. moving from your small “self” to your True “Self”, the Brahmaroop.

Then there was shades of small self, getting in the way.  I have learnt it really helps to look honestly at your self. All the shades come up and how to move forward. I was not always honest with my self but thank to Sree Maa Shri Ji and their guidance, sense of humour and guidance, that I have been able to grow and move forward.

A lot had changed through that FiT programme.   For a while I have to say I lived in a little bit of a daze, sleepy that I had my own belief systems about love, light etc. Sree Maa Shri Ji woke me up to the truth and remove these blinkers. That is truly what sets you free, that is liberating and it’s not in judging others but it’s in discerning.

I have become very honest. I know my soul is nurtured so deeply. Everything that I have learnt from Sree Maa Shri Ji, putting it into practice more. I’m so grateful that I’m still under Sree Maa Shri Ji’s wings, they are still holding my hand.

What motivates you to take Sree Maa as your Guru, Guide and Teacher?

Sree Maa has always embraced me with so much of love, so much understanding, so much compassion. Whatever I need each moment, Sree Maa & Shri Ji have always given it unconditionally, boundlessly, lovingly.

“I have seen in the Facilitators in Training Programme, Sree Maa Shri Ji have gone above and beyond humanly possible, to give all of us in the FiT programme, to support us in our journey of Awakenin, Transformation and Transcendence.”

What are the chances that you meet someone like that? They are my supreme lifeline…. Everything!


Please also watch the interviews with my other dear kalyan mitras:

Archita: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwiFzU-yHoM&t=5s
Niranjana: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_kRSyrj_WE

Mala: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzhhsHvMeLs

Jeeya; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XI3yKGrL3rM

Hanuman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVMi-Kp8XN4

Forever grateful to beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji for coming into our lives and taking us under Sree Maa Shri Ji's Wing _/\ô__

Boundless Blessings at the 2015 FiT Retreat

The Facilitator in Training (FiT) Programme graced by Sree Maa Shri Ji was a powerful, dynamic, experiential Training. Still getting my head around the magnanimity of the Training and most of all the Greatness of our Teacher Sree Maa who gave of herself 24/7 to support us in our P.R.O.C.E.S.S of AwaKeNiN TrAnSForMaTioN TrAnSCenDEncE.

Core principles were authenticity, honesty, integrity and transparency, practiced fully by beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji, who always led by example.

The FiT intake Ceremony, completely complementary, took place in October 2013. There Sree Maa already spoke about many concepts and principles that you can find in Sanatana Dharma so it was ALWAYS clear what this was about. In addition, we touched Sree Maa’s Lotus Feet, and i would say we were very fortunate to be able to do so. Key take away from that FiT intake ceremony was also to trust and surrender.

Snapshots of the beautiful 2015 Kawai Pura Pura Retreat

There are now two ex-volunteers who claim in their media smear campaign that the curriculum of the FiT Training all of a sudden changed. i really don’t know what course they were sitting on and why they stayed on and did not leave, as everyone was always free to leave if it wasn’t your cup of tea. It was clear to me and there are no words enough to express my gratitude to beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji for the most Gracious FiT Training. Anyone with half a dose of common sense can see through the games of Joy Kuo/ #AwakeningwithJoy and Iphigenie Amoutzias/Amoutsias.

Gift of the akarmi

One of the key principles that Sree Maa teaches straight from the very first moment is to be a non-doer, an akarmi; step back and let the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse step in. No intention, no expectation no judgement, happy to not know. A non-doer serves without wanting anything out of something.

This seems simple and in truth it is but in 2014 and beyond we could experience ourselves how the small self/doer can step in. In order to become akarmi, there will be obstacles, generally it doesn’t happen overnight but Sree Maa supported us in every way possible.

Early 2015 Sree Maa encouraged us to do a homeopathic detox in preparation for the TrAnSceNDenCE that would be offered at the phenomal 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat. Quite frankly am still absorbing the profound Teachings and all the Supreme Blessings Sree Maa Shri Ji bestowed on us at this Retreat.

Body of devotion and silent Guru Mantra

One of the things Sree Maa beautifully explained was that it is the biggest Gift that you can ever get is to be an akarmi. Sree Maa laid the foundation for Bhakti (devotion) in that Retreat, gracing us with an Initiation of a (formless) body of devotion, a new body of bliss – like armour that will help one fight one’s inner resistance when the ego crops up. This is a body of true transcendence that would develop more as one's power of devotion becomes stronger.

Sree Maa also asked us if we wanted to receive a Guru Mantra, which means one would be a Sanatana Dharmi from then on. The choice was ours. Everyone present at the Retreat (including the wolves in sheep clothing) said yes.

Remember i was very humbled and grateful to receive such a Blessing to help us come out from our old karmic cycle. Now one’s Guru becomes your biggest mirror, learning through the attributes of the Guru instead of the lessons in one’s life. No greater Blessing than to be graced with Sree Maa as one’s Guru, as the years went on my understanding of the precious Guru-disciple relationship deepened (see also my other blog) - all only possible by the Grace and Kindness of Sree Maa Shri Ji. 

Niranjana (who has written with amazing detail and understanding about the FiT Retreat and Programme, can highly recommend to read her blog) asked a beautiful question about the difference between the silent Guru Mantra and the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse and Sree Maa enlightened us that Guru Mantra is for one’s doer and the QVSWPP - that which Sree Maa Shri Ji had given us already straight up on the platter in the AwaKeNiN TrANsForMaTioN workshop -comes to one in non-action to the non-doer. 

Niranjana and me at the Kawai Pura Pura Retreat

Of course, one cannot take a Guru Mantra without a Guru Dakshina, and Sree Maa was so Gracious to ask us to offer a bad habit that we don’t need as Guru Dakshina. Actually can’t remember which bad habit i offered but do remember this humbled me to the core and really showed the selflessness and Daya of our Ultimate Well-Wisher Sree Maa Shri Ji. And this was only the beginning, there were many more Blessings to come.... :-) <3

Commitment to transformation

Sree Maa has worked tirelessly and graciously with a small group of us in the Facilitator in Training (FiT) Programme gracing us with an opportunity to be of service to the mission of Kosmic Fusion to spread the most benevolent Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse to the world.

Sree Maa Shri Ji, being the living embodiment of Grace and Compassion, welcomed everyone with open arms no matter their background, culture, religion or issues as Sree Maa sees the Divine spark, the potential of the Absolute in everyone.

As part of the FiT intake Ceremony, all of us wrote letters to Sree Maa Shri Ji why we felt ready to become a Facilitator and how we were going to serve the mission of Kosmic Fusion. Irene/Joy Kuo/Joy Vottus and Dallia/Iphigenie Amoutzias also wrote their letters and read them out loud.

Some of the FIT came with severe issues but Sree Maa never rejected anyone. These are patterns and issues of the personality (small/dark/shadow/ego self) which have nothing to do with the True SELF and can be overcome, provided someone is committed to transformation.

As it turned out there were quite a number of FiT who had NPD in the group. Narcissists are draw to empathetic and compassionate people and Sree Maa Shri Ji, being the epitome of Compassion and Kindness, is like the jackpot for them.

Sree Maa has always beautifully spoken about the True SELF/Brahmroop, our highest potential, the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse and the golden rule to step back and be the non-doer.

In countless precious Discourses Sree Maa has explained about the incarnational soul (self), True Soul (Self) and True SELF (Brahmroop) and how to transcend the small self and move into the Brahmroop. Sree Maa broke everything down in simple English, showering so much True Knowledge and Absolute Truth for us to absorb and put into practice, knowledge that would normally take lifetimes to even find.

It has always been clear from the start that Awakenin Transformation Transcendence is a P.R.O.C.E.S.S, that one has to commit to. It doesn’t happen overnight. It takes discipline, consistency and most of all surrender and humility.

Honesty, integrity, authenticity and transparency were the core principles of the FiT Training and Sree Maa always led by example. We have written many letters from self to Self to SELF and SELF to Self to self to help us reflect and move into our higher potential. So many unfathomable Blessings were bestowed by Sree Maa Shri Ji to make it easier for us, where Sree Maa and Shri Ji even took the processing of energies onto their bodies for us. Such selflessness and ultimate Compassion.

And when the whole world shuns people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), Sree Maa Shri Ji took them under their Wings and gave every opportunity and non-stop support to help them identify, accept and work on their shadow self. Everything was always done is a safe, open and transparent manner through voice dialoging and enlightening Discourses. This is especially important for narcissists as normally pretence, lying and playing the victim are very pronounced in people with NPD and it would be too easy for them to fall back into those patterns.

Sree Maa literally gave of herself 24/7 to support Jeeya (who was doing phantom P.R.O.C.E.S.S. on behalf of all the FiTs) and Nandini in their P.R.O.C.E.S.S after it came out they had narcissistic tendencies and imparted many powerful Discourses that were not just for them but for all of us to support us in our awakening and transformation. During all this time, Dallia/Iphigenie and Irene/Joy never came forth to speak honestly that they were experiencing similar issues, instead they continued to hide and play their games.

In fact, Iphigenie made sure to gaslight and stir the pot between Nandini and Jeeya so that the spotlight remained on them and she could operate under the radar. Irene/Joy Kuo/Joy Vottus did the exact same thing by creating a big scene around two of the FiTs in Sydney about them printing a Bhakti Bhaav brochure that had not been approved whereas she was doing much worse, all behinds everyone’s back. She was steadfast working on her plan to move everyone out including Sree Maa Shri Ji and take Kosmic Fusion over instead of her transformation.

In May 2017, after her mask had fallen off, Dallia/Iphigenie was voted out by all FiT and she had to leave as the others were scared of her malignancy, even her own enablers like Gillian and Renee had experienced malevolent psychic attacks at her hand.

She would also strip naked to scare Jeeya and purposely leave the door open of the bathroom as that bathroom being in the games room was close to the passage which Shri Ji used to get his car. All was done with a malignant agenda to scare off others by acting crazy all of a sudden and provoke everyone to point fingers at Sree Maa.

Regarding Irene/Joy, no one wanted to be around her as her betrayal was way to malicious. She was asked to resign. She assured that she would admit to what she had done in order to avoid legal implications, as she knew she had done much wrong, but she kept playing games and then joined hands with Dallia in November 2017 and started to play the same game that Dallia/Iphigenie played to implicate Sree Maa for her feeling vulnerable and wanting to kill herself. These are malignant Narcissists and will do anything to hurt others...

Sree Maa has only given unconditional acceptance and compassion and endless support to Dallia/Ipigenie and Irene/Joy, which they kept misusing and misusing. They had such a beautiful opportunity to shift but they chose to hold on to their greed for narcissistic supply and their vicious intentions of sabotage and stealing.

People can only be helped if they want to be helped. Eventually Sree Maa had to let go of Irene/Joy and Dallia/Iphigenie, as when it came to honouring their own Self they chose to stay wrapped in the blanket of the small self.

Jeeya and Nandini on the other hand really wanted to change and they have shown great strength and commitment to their P.R.O.C.E.S.S and their transformation is an inspiration to behold, all by the amazing Grace and selfless support of beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji.

Removal of ignorance

Since Sree Maa Shri Ji came into my life early 2012, there have been so many profound experiences and moments, would not be possible to write them all down. i know in my heart of hearts that where i am today in my P.R.O.C.E.S.S of Awakenin Transformation Transcendence is all only because of the Grace, Kindness, Blessing and Shelter of Sree Maa, my beloved Paratpar Guru.

As i am born and raised in Europe in a white atheist household, really didn’t have a clue what Guru meant. There were many things i was completely ignorant about, even simple energy hygiene protocols, but Sree Maa has patiently and lovingly worked with me in a way i could understand, opening me up to true knowledge and a greater understanding of Absolute Truth including the purpose of human life – helping remove layers of agyan and avidya (ignorance). There is nothing more fortunate that a Guru-disciple relationship for any genuine seeker and quite frankly the depth of this i am only just beginning to understand, but energetically have felt it for a longer time.  

Throughout the years, Sree Maa has played the role of my Teacher, my Friend, my Guide, my Philosopher, my Benefactor, my Guru. Complex scriptural knowledge from the ancient scriptures, Sree Maa would explain in simple English with examples and analogies of the ‘modern world’ and a great sense of humour. Any question we had, we could ask. Sree Maa would give us a voice in the volunteering, listening to our inputs. When Sree Maa knew i was struggling financially in Sydney, while we were at the expo in Sydney CBD Sree Maa took me to buy a beautiful skirt. Still have that skirt 😊 Always always, Sree Maa Shri Ji has been available to us.

Sree Maa sees only the potential of the Absolute in everyone, the Atma (True Soul), that which has been created by the Absolute and belongs to the Absolute, Swaminarayan Bhagwan only and accepts all with open arms, no matter their background, culture, religion, the densities or issues they may carry. Truly the glorious living embodiment of Grace, Compassion and Kindness.

How beautifully Sree Maa worked with me so that my Faith in Bhagwan could grow and the bond with Sree Maa could develop. In a letter in 2014 i wrote about it as:
I am forever grateful to Sree Maa and Shree Ji for being the living TRUTH and LOVE and restoring my Faith in LOVE. Their embracing this lost sheep with such GRACE truly shows the Benevolance of GOD.

Sree Maa also guided me in an experiential way to understand that a true Guru, someone who truly cares for your Soul (Atma), points out the obstacles to your Soul’s liberation and fusion with Bhagwan so that you can honestly look at it and let go, be they inner enemies (like lust, greed, jealousy etc.), faulty beliefs, habits or whatever layers of the small/false/dark/ego self.

As i have written before, this took me a little while to accept with love and grace my ego did not like feedback, but now i feel so grateful. It is not through judging others or ourselves that we can shed the layers, but through the gates of honesty and acceptance and taking responsibility we can awaken, transform and transcend beyond the small/false/dark/ego self into our True SELF who is always in seva and surrender to the One and Only One. For further inspiration please also read Vachanamrut Gadhada Madhya 37.4.

Sharing a beautiful post Sree Maa recently shared on Facebook:

In my P.R.O.C.E.S.S (and yes, it is a P.R.O.C.E.S.S, no magic pill here), there have been a number of watershed moments apart from the Awakenin Transformation workshop itself of course. One such moment was the Transcendence in 2013 in Sydney. Transcendence workshop is a profound Blessing with a lot to it, but one aspect is that Sree Maa Shri Ji Graces the ones present with the clearing of entities in the organs. A small description from Sree Maa here:

"Most parasites that feel like negative elements and entities trying to control our the entities in your organs .
We do clear entities in the organs in the TranScEndeNcE Sessions which is by invitation only.

To be honest out of the 16 people who were invited to attend the TranScEndeNcE Initiations -activations and transmissions only a handful have been able to truly step back.
The EGO really is the most malevolent Entity that which appears to be foreign but is the person's who consciousness fragments attacking themselves.

Key point to note is that the basis for Transcendence is stepping back, being the non-doer.
i can best share what happened during the 2 Transcendence workshop days, where some demonic energies sitting in my womb were released, through sharing the testimonial i wrote about it a year later in 2014. 

First of all I would like to express my deepest gratitude to Sree Maa and Shree Ji for all the GRACE and LOVE and Guidance I have received. I can't say this enough!
It was on Wesak 2013, the day before the TrAnScEnDeNcE Workshop, where we were gathered for a special Initiation and at some point while Maa was guiding us through an experiential exercise/meditation my belly began swelling up like I was instantly 9 months pregnant. I remember Maa inviting me to sit with her and to release whatever was in my womb. I still get tears in my eyes when I think about this, there was something extremely humbling to sit so close to Maa on her lap. She helped me breathe like a woman does when she is giving birth, it took a lot of breaths and considerable pushing. Guess there was some resistance within me to let go.

There were 3 dark entities in my womb if I remember correctly. I had an abortion the year before and there was also an energy of a miscarriage and something related to my current child. This is just to illustrate the amazing Grace that has blessed me and this has indeed been one of the most life-changing moments in my life. Without Sree Maa and Shree Ji's assistance I would not have been able to release it. Afterwards I lay down in a corner, while the other pulsars continued with the meditation. Shree Ji put his hand over my head, and I could still feel them there for a long time even though he had moved to another part of the room. The unconditional LOVE I was touched with that day is beyond words. The response of the other Pulsars afterwards was powerful too. They could immediately see the difference. They said something like 'you're back/welcome back'. I felt infinitely lighter and more spacious, like some things that had been draining the light within me had finally been released. 

Sada Aapki Abhaari Rahungi Sree Maa Shri Ji _/\ô__  _/\ô__ _/\ô__

Sree Maa Shri Ji has explained that ultimately Transcendence can be a by-product of Transformation if one genuinely commits to transformation. All too often Transcendence is what spiritual seekers instantly strive for, but without wanting to do the ‘real work’. Forever grateful to Sree Maa Shri Ji for taking me under Sree Maa’s Wing, sharing the Absolute Truth and nothing but the Absolute Truth and holding my hand on this pathless path.

Would like to conclude with a beautiful chant played during the May/June 2015 Kawai Pura Pura Retreat in New Zealand, where i received the silent Guru mantra during the magnificent Transcendence Workshop there, humbly taking Sree Maa officially as my Guru but will write about this in another blog.

"Gurur Brahma Gurur Vishnu Gurur Devo  Maheshwaraha  Guru Saakshat ParaBrahma Tasmaya Shri Guruve Namaha." 

Meaning Guru is verily the representative of Brahma, Vishnu ,Shiv. He creates, sustains Knowledge and destroy the weeds of Ignorance. I salute such a Guru.

P.S. This blog is intended to openly share my experience of my blessed spiritual journey with Kosmic Fusion that it may inspire others. My apologies it is not in sequential order, jumping back and forth in years, but as the reflections come to me currently in hindsight.

Wolf in sheep clothing

Being the non-doer was the crux of the matter and seemingly simple. Yet have learned how the shades of the doer, the ego can slyly step in and play up. When the doer is in the front seat it spells trouble and when the doer has completely taken you over, disaster is inevitable. This i have experienced and seen with my own eyes in the FiT Programme – a priceless Gift of Awakenin Transformation Transcendence where Sree Maa Shri Ji has been Graciously waking us up to the Absolute Truth, lovingly and tirelessly supporting and guiding us in every possible way to move beyond the small self/the ego with its dark shades into our higher potential, the True SELF to ultimately reach where we truly belong in seva to and union with the One and Only One.

Sree Maa started the trial FiT Programme in October 2013 (completely complimentary) out of compassion, kindness and trust based on the requests, questions and keenness displayed by a few Practitioners, myself included, to volunteer and be part of Kosmic Fusion Mission to take it to many more. We wrote letters to Sree Maa at the FiT Intake Ceremony, held in Auckland New Zealand about why we felt we were ready to become a Facilitator and how would we contribute to the Mission of Kosmic Fusion. Remember when reading my letter to Sree Maa Shri Ji could not keep my eyes dry. What i didn’t know is that some people wrote a letter that wasn’t truthful…

Stealth mode

Have not only seen the doer play up in myself, but in its pinnacle form in one of the other volunteers who was also part of the FIT Programme, Irene/Joy/Tzu-Ling Kuo/Joy Vottus. Straight when she started volunteering, she was quite domineering and wanted things to be done her way. In fact, she turned out to be the biggest doer with a hidden agenda that was so twisted, i still find it hard to get my head around it. Her agenda was to shamelessly replace Sree Maa Shri Ji and turn a sacred selfless mission into a profitable business for herself where she could be the face – she was completely driven by greed and ambition. Combine these vices with lack of ethics and conscience and you have got a toxic cocktail that wreaked havoc in the FiT team in Sydney and in the whole FIT Programme. But for most of the years while the FIT Training was happening, the other volunteers including me had no clue as Irene operated in stealth mode... Covert narcissist indeed epitomize a wolf in sheep clothing.

Can also recommend you read this entry of Simran's blog




P.S.
Am sharing my experiences as it may be helpful for others who are going through a similar experience.  

Why this blog?

Why this blog?

Thank you for coming to this blog, which is my personal sharing of what happened to us – a small group of volunteers who were part of a most precious FiT Programme. i am not a psychologist but have done extensive research into narcissism after what happened to try to understand and learn.

This includes learning about my own weaknesses and oblivion that gave the covert manipulators such a platform; for the longest time i had no idea what these toxic people were up to and how they were using all of us as a supply.

What i am sharing is my personal experience and analysis of what happened. The toxicity some of the people in the group displayed is of such a concern that through this sharing i hope to make others aware.

The ones with toxic agendas had been telling our mentor Sree Maa Shri Ji since 2013 Oct as well as the rest of us that they want to serve, they really want to take the work of Kosmic Fusion to the world. i took their words at face value and trusted them.

As it turned out, instead of serving they were operating under the radar pursuing their own selfish and destructive agendas. Yet there were given many chances to transform. Key part of the FiT Programme was looking at the shades of the small self, to be able to awaken, transform and transcend the small self, embody the Self to finally attain the Brahmroop (SELF).

Sree Maa was showing so much Grace and Compassion to help them look at the shades they were holding and making them see how they were completely out of touch with reality. Unfortunately, these toxic people continued to play games.

If Sree Maa Shri Ji wouldn’t have stopped them, they would have actually been working with the people in the world by using the platform of Kosmic Fusion. When a place was reached where it was absolutely not okay for Sree Maa Shri Ji to have them use the platform of Kosmic Fusion, they were removed. 

Typical of narcissists, they colluded to run a smear campaign to slander Sree Maa Shri Ji and Kosmic Fusion in the media.

Today they are out there and based on the patterns we have seen they are going to get other people. Now it is the responsibility of others to do their homework before interacting with them, because their track record doesn’t look very promising. However, we wish them all the best and we wish they’d change.

Throughout this blog i refer to certain admittance these toxic people have given about their behaviour and motives. It is the utmost Grace of Shreeji Maharaj and the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse that we even succeeded to this extent for them to speak the truth. 

To actually make a narcissist speak the truth is impossible. So, the kind of information we’ve got through them is quite something. Because they were very sure Sree Maa Shri Ji is so compassionate and because it was happening in a safe space, they were just letting it all out. Of course, as narcissists do nothing without an agenda, it was with an agenda to be absorbed back into the group again. 

Based on their behaviour after they left, it doesn’t look like they were really wanting to change. The proof is the paid revenge article they published, which is a complete sham and lie. 

Irene/Komal changed her name to Joy Kuo/Joy Vottus and is now shamelessly calling herself a spiritual healer whereas she hasn’t done the work on herself. Iphigenie Amoutzias/Dallia/Meera has moved to Europe, changed her name to Malana Taresi and claims to be a flower essence healer. 

You draw your own conclusion about what their moves mean. Forwarned is forarmed…