Saturday, 30 March 2019

How i have enabled narcissists

It is only in hindsight and after more than a year of reflection and research on narcissism that i am able to write about how i have contributed to all the delays to Sree Maa’s vision and the noble mission of Kosmic Fusion to share the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse with many people.

i am extremely sorry and apologize from the bottom of my heart to Sree Maa Shri Ji, to the other FiTs and to the people whom have been held back from receiving the Grace of the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse. By enabling the covert narcissists that snuck into the FiT Programme have inadvertently slowed down Sree Maa and the mission of Kosmic Fusion.

Stealth bomb

Covert narcissists are very hard to spot, and they are very good at playing your weaknesses. My kalyan mitra Archita shared a quote she found about covert narcissists that i think is very apt: “covert narcissist is the worst kind of narcissist there is. Like a stealth bomb, you can’t see them coming until they have left their destruction.”

Unfortunately, narcissists are drawn to empaths and empathetic people and roam around in spiritual circles, not because they want to serve others or to work on themselves and spiritually progress but because there, they can find a large unsuspecting supply. Supply of trusting people with forgiving and kind qualities they can drain energetically and manipulate for attention and other resources as well. It is only by the Grace and protection of Sree Maa Shri Ji and the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse that i am still standing and that i am still here. 

Ignorance, unawareness and self-preservation

Having said this, the narcissists wouldn’t have been able to hijack the FiT Programme, create such havoc and harassment, had i practiced awareness, discernment and did what was right at all times. Looking back on the FiT Programme, can see how i have missed many vital cues, clues and red flags graciously raised by Sree Maa, and how my own nature got in the way.

Trusted others in the FiT Programme blindly, believing everyone had come with the same genuine intention. And this is where i fell short big time. Failed to listen thoroughly and reflect on the Teachings Sree Maa was sharing and think about how that would apply to the FiT Programme, not in the least when Sree Maa explained about devas and danavas…

Was looking within at my grey shades (and this i could have done much better too) but not paying attention to what was going on with all in the FiT Programme. Didn’t practice discernment, despite Sree Maa talking about it, and remained too self-absorbed with my own process, not taking enough interest in what was happening in other regions where FiT were living, including the Ashram House.

Completely fell for the image that Joy Kuo was projecting of a hard-working, dedicated volunteer and later on devotee. Interestingly, it is a fact that covert narcissists often come across as polite and well-behaved, as is explained in this article. There was at times evidence or behaviours from her side to the contrary but this cognitive dissonance i didn’t solve by asking the right questions or finding out what was really going on in Sydney. 

There were tensions amongst some of the FiTs at times and bullying messages from Joy and Iphigenie on the group whatsapp but where there is conflict i tend to run away or shut down instead of standing up. Chose self-preservation, not saying anything and holding on the miss goodie two shoes fakeness and my people pleasing tendencies. Narcissists are masters at deflections and projections and the lights still did not go on in my head when Iphigenie and especially Joy were playing the victim and putting others under the train.

Now, when i read the characteristics of a covert narcissists i can see that both Joy and Iphigenie literally tick all the boxes. At the time, had no clue but should have at least asked some questions and done research about narcissism when it first came to light mid 2016 that Rita/Nandini had narcissistic tendencies. It is almost uncanny how their games are exactly like you read in the textbooks about narcissism.


Straight from the start Sree Maa has taught about being the non-doer; the golden rule was to step back and let the All-Knowing QVSWPP step in. The FiT Programme gave us the opportunity to practice this sincerely, but my doer and arrogance did step in at times and that paved the way for the narcissists to create chaos. For example, raised my hand at the 2016 Retreat for Bhakti Bhaav. Initially felt hesitation and didn’t feel ready at all but arrogance took over. 

What is more i was among those who attempted to write about Bhakti Bhaav following this Retreat whereas i didn’t have a clue what it was, very much a novice at it and it is something one can only offer by the Grace of Bhagwan and Satpurush. By putting up my hand and attempting to write about it, completely failed to show respect for Sree Maa Shri Ji’s paramekantik Bhakti to Bhagwan Swaminarayan which we receive most graciously as the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse. Never ever did i publish any of the drafts, but the narcissists made use of this situation to write their own flyers and promotions portraying themselves as great devotees and actually going ahead with printing it, trying to deceive innocent seekers with their lies. Sree Maa immediately put a stop to all workshops when this happened to protect innocent people.

Deep sleep 

Was so deeply asleep that for the longest time did not clue on to the subtle and sly ways in which Iphigenie was spreading her poison in the group, constantly creating confusion and planting seeds of doubts and doing everything to fulfil her mission to destroy Kosmic Fusion. Even after the India Pilgrimage where Iphigenie’s behaviour was rude and appalling and i even questioned her why she was in the Ashram, i did not approach Sree Maa to ask Sree Maa Shri Ji how is Sree Maa doing. Sree Maa travelled a lot, was out of the Ashram a lot after Iphigenie moved in and that should have been a big hint. The least i should have done was to enquire what is happening in the Ashram, show interest from the bottom of my heart about the wellbeing of my ultimate Well-Wisher. Yet i never asked.

Sree Maa was selflessly giving 1000% percent to the FiT Programme, making untold sacrifices for the benefits of the FiT, relentlessly guiding all of us towards the Brahmroop, even the ones who came with malicious intentions as Sree Maa sees the divine potential within all. But i chose to remain in my comfort zone, sit on the fence, run away or keep my blinkers on at crucial times. 

What i ended up doing is exploiting the kindness and Compassion of the one i hold most dear, beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji. Ended up enabling two covert malignant narcissists who created horrendous harassment to Sree Maa Shri Ji and also to other FiTs. Sree Maa was always protecting us, taking the attacks from the narcissists on herself, but i miserably failed to keep the side of Sree Maa when Sree Maa was silently enduring all the harassment at the Ashram House at the hands of the narcissists.

Sree Maa didn’t need any of us at all, but since we wanted to volunteer graciously gave us the opportunity. Wrote in my letter in 2013 that i wanted to serve the noble mission of Kosmic Fusion but ended up wasting Sree Maa Shri Ji’s time and delaying the mission.

It is only by the tireless Guidance and Compassion of Sree Maa that i have been able to put the pieces of the puzzle together, reflect on my behaviour and nature of the small self and the spiritual bypassing practiced. Unfortunately, it was Sree Maa and Shri Ji who had to bear the brunt. i have learnt lessons at the expense of Sree Maa Shri Ji. There is no way i can ever apologize enough or make amends for what i have done. Can only honestly resolve to not repeat the same wrongs and mistakes ever. Am most fortunate to still be able to be associated with Kosmic Fusion as a faculty and forever endebted to Sree Maa Shri Ji for everything, for awakening my true Soul, for protecting me, for ushering me forward.

Sree Maa has given us everything on a platter including the most beautiful Absolute Truth teachings, and the most benevolent Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse. Resolve to learn from my mistakes and give it my best to truly serve the most noble mission of Kosmic Fusion. 

Sunday, 24 March 2019

Spiritual narcissist alert

Recently had a look at Joy Kuo’s ‘slick’ youtube channel, website and heard a podcast she put out together with her narc partner in crime Iphigenie Amoutzias, still trying to slander Kosmic Fusion.

Perfect make-up and professional looking videos on the outside, doesn’t say anything about what’s going on within a person. Ask yourself honestly, can you feel a genuine warmth from her smile…? Didn’t think so.

So, in this podcast she is claiming that what she is doing is her mission. You can read on her youtube channel and website she aims to raise humanity’s vibration for a better new earth living, whatever that means. Just when you think you have seen it all as far as exploitation, she now even manages to abuse the word mission.

Mission is for someone who is truly dedicated no matter how much money is involved. Dedicated with their heart and soul, and most of all a mission is not about yourself but about making the world a better place. Basically, the opposite what Joy Kuo stands for.

One good look at Joy’s facebook page, youtube channel and website, and you’ll straight away see this is all about her grandiose and her earning money. Zero humility and there is an awful lot of book and buy now buttons.

The packages you can buy on her website are a clear give away. And if you think you are that great that healing vibrations are coming from your breakfast of sandwich and coffee to uplift people as Joy posted on her facebook group like she is some great Satpurush, you’re on some deluded ego high only.

She is just a spiritual narcissist pretending to be some great healer and spiritual teacher for fame and fortunate.

All i can say is run hard and fast…

Just sharing this to do my bit to warn people not to fall into the traps of covert spiritual narcissists as i have seen first hand the damage Joy Kuo and people like her can do.

Sunday, 17 March 2019

Sree Maa: living embodiment of Grace and Compassion

Writing this, tears well up. Sree Maa has done so much for me, a meritless, agyani soul, not only ignorant but also arrogant who was deeply lost in Maya and drunk on ego. My sense is i am not even aware of 1% of what Sree Maa has done for my soul and countless other souls to elevate them and eventually lead them back to where they belong, to Bhagwan Swaminarayan.

i am not able to adequately describe the Greatness of someone so elevated, loving and supremely Divine like Sree Maa Shri Ji as my understanding is very limited, but will attempt to share my experience and thoughts as my humble tribute to my Supreme Lifeline and Ultimate Well-Wisher, the one whom i am fortunate to call my Guru, and also as a stance to share the Truth.

There are some who are so deluded by their false self and ego fabrications and so caught up in their narcissistic self, they have spread lies about Sree Maa Shri Ji, things that couldn’t be further from the Truth. How anyone can talk lies about One who is so Compassionate, Loving and Kind really beats me but with this humble sharing i hope to go some way in dispelling those falsities.

Wherever Sree Maa walks everything gets uplifted and is touched by Grace so Supreme, there are simply no words for it. A small example: when we visited Vrindavan with Sree Maa during a Pilgrimage in 2017, clearly remember this place where pandits were literally screaming and fighting out of greed. Recently one of the Faculty members had the great fortune to travel with Sree Maa to Vrindavan again and she saw that the greed had gone down tremendously, not only in that particular place but in the whole of Vrindavan and Mathura where we had gone at that time. There is no doubt in my head this is the Grace of Sree Maa. My heart delights thinking about all the places Sree Maa has been that have been showered with an invisible but All-powerful touch of Grace.

i was not always aware of this, in fact i did not recognize the Divinity and Greatness of Sree Maa Shri Ji at first. Sree Maa has explained, this is Kali Yuga, this is the time where God can walk past and people will not recognize God. i was one of those people… Only by Sree Maa’s Supreme Grace has my Soul been awakened and my eyes opened up.

To be in the Presence of Sree Maa Shri Ji is a Blessing and boon beyond compare. Bodily awareness decreases, less sleep is needed, awareness increases as the Soul comes in the forefront rather than the small self, but also that which needs to be let go of will come up so it can graciously be discarded for the Soul to move closer to Bhagwan. To even have Sree Maa Shri Ji’s Darshan is a Blessing and not to be taken lightly, something which i with my western background was slow to comprehend. Apart from Sree Maa Shri Ji’s Darshan, Sree Maa’s eyes and voice have always mesmerized me and truly are from beyond this world.

Can honestly say that Sree Maa has not only lifted up my soul but also made me a better human being in the first place, one who can be honest with herself and with others. Through Sree Maa’s unconditional Love, Compassion and Grace have changed from quite an uncouth individual, fluffed up by a miss goody two shoes fakeness and useless people pleasing tendencies to a more refined human being, even though am very much still work in progress, as is my Atmanishta.

Sree Maa has never ever held my agyan against me, even though must have unknowingly shown a lot of disrespect as i had no clue how to even talk or behave appropriately in the Presence of Grace and Utmost Divinity. Sree Maa is an Anaadi Mukt, completely one with the One and Only One, Bhagwan Swaminarayan, a paramekantik Bhakt of Bhagwan Swaminarayan, and yet has met me where i was no matter how ignorant and gone out of Sree Maa Shri Ji’s way to uplift my soul. Sree Maa has picked me up from the hole i had dug myself in. Can only imagine what it must be like having to put your hand into the sewer to pull someone out, and to do so without any resistance and with pure Love.

Sree Maa Shri Ji’s Compassion knows no bounds. This you can immediately feel when you are in the Presence of Sree Maa. Have had the great fortune to see Sree Maa bless all creatures, be they simple flies, cows or deer. Never Sree Maa loses sight of the Paramatma within the Atma within all and Sree Maa does not leave a stone unturned to elevate souls. Even the two covert malignant narcissists who infiltrated the FiT Programme have had moments of reflection and conscience, through Sree Maa’s supernova empathy and unlimited Compassion, which is unprecedented.

Have heard Charitras about Nandsantos (elite saints) in the time of Shreeji Maharaj who were sometimes beaten black and blue by wicked people. Being the elevated Souls they are, they would not retaliate but forgive the attackers and pray for their well-being. Have seen the same thing with Sree Maa Shri Ji who was attacked, slandered, backstabbed by some of the FiTs, one of the FiT even tried to poison Sree Maa Shri Ji but Sree Maa Shri Ji would silently endure and still pray for their well-being, shower them with Compassion, Guidance and show them the way. i failed to keep the Paksh of Sree Maa, but Sree Maa always had my back and protected me from the attacks from the narcissists, taking the brunt of the attacks on herself. 

Sree Maa is the epitome of selflessness. Always going above and beyond what is humanly possible to support others, making untold personal sacrifices and spending tireless days, sleepless nights to guide others, without thinking twice always putting the welfare of others before Sree Maa. 
Sree Maa has taken on and processed a lot of my negativity and that of all the FiTs, experienced so many bodily discomforts, but never once Sree Maa would complain. i was the one failing to look after Sree Maa, and making sure Sree Maa Shri Ji’s is comfortable, but Sree Maa never ever failed me or anyone else. Sree Maa is the ultimate Giver, who hears all prayers and who gives and gives and gives.

Sree Maa Shri Ji knows me better than i know myself and has only ever my well-being, the kalyan of my Atma at heart. Like a true Mother Sree Maa has nurtured me so lovingly, holding my hand as i stumbled and fell and acted up. Even when i was taking Sree Maa Shri Ji for granted or acted inappropriately, Sree Maa still held on tight and ushered me forward. Sree Maa has spent countless hours on me, guiding me personally, explaining things again and again in ways so that my thick head can understand, making sure the ego doesn’t get the better of me and towards my Brahmroop is where this soul is headed. Very patiently and lovingly Sree Maa has guided me into the fold of Santana Dharma, the eternal Truth and righteous way of living. When Sree Maa isn’t physically present, Sree Maa is still there, very tangibly so guiding, supporting, showing the way Home.

The Gnan showered by Sree Maa Shri Ji is simply Supreme. Have never come across anyone who can teach like this and who is the living embodiment of not just Grace and Compassion but Ultimate Wisdom, the Absolute Truth. The effortlessness with which Sree Maa Shri Ji can talk and teach about the most elevated things in the most understandable manner with a great sense of humour and crystal-clear clarity, always in tune with the pulse of the room and the inner most feelings of all present, still baffles me. Sree Maa’s Discourses and Teachings are truly unparalleled and exquisitely Divine.

Sree Maa has shown utmost humility and levelling, which is something only someone who is truly great can do. Nirmanipanu – that which Sree Maa has emphasized so much, always be without pride and arrogance, be meek and humble, Sree Maa is like that only. Sree Maa walks the talk and is the ultimate non-doer, knowing it is Bhagwan Swaminarayan, Sarva Karta, who is doing everything. Sree Maa is not only the ultimate non-doer but also the epitome of Bhakti. Have had the great fortunate to witness Sree Maa’s care and utmost love for the Murti of Maharaj in the Mandir at Sree Maa Shri Ji’s Abode. Just thinking about this my heart smiles, this is a Love so Great, it is Bhakti that is off the charts. And the biggest proof (for want of a better word) is the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse.

It is the living Bhakti of Sree Maa Shri Ji to Bhagwan Swaminarayan that we receive as the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse. A 24-7, 365-day connection to the Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse is the most precious Gift of Grace that Sree Maa Shri Ji has bestowed to all who have attended the Awakenin Transformation workshop and no doubt to many more. One can tune in anywhere any time they like. Teachings of Kosmic Fusion have always been straight forward and beautifully universal: be the non-doer, step back and let the QVSWPP step in. Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse is the Supreme Signature of Source-Void, IT is the Swaminarayan Mahamantra, the Name of the Supreme Almighty, shared unconditionally and boundlessly by beloved Sree Maa. It brings the Soul back to the Super Soul, It is the GPS installed that will bring the Atma back to Bhagwan. It is supremely all-knowing and supremely intelligent, It touches everyone and doesn’t judge or shun even the densest of people and places. It knows exactly what each one needs and immersed in this Grace spontaneous healing on all levels is the by-product.

Sree Maa once said “you guys simply have no idea what you have received. Simply not even remotely aware of how much GRACE has been showered.” Just thinking about these lines gives me goose bumps as i know it is true. Sada Aapki Abhaari Rahungi Sree Maa for the unfathomable Grace bestowed and for holding me tight. You are my Guru, my Lifeline, my Comforter, my Saviour, my Everything. Humbly surrender in the Lotus Feet of Beloved SreeMaa-Shreeji _/\_ _/\ô__ _/\ô__

Jai Shree Swaminarayan _/\_

Saturday, 2 March 2019

New age movement and the nexus (part 2)

When i saw the following quote about the new age movement, was a little surprised. Did not realize that in the 70s and 80s the new age movement had such close ties with India and its unparalleled wisdom.

"For example in the 1970s, the new age movement was very much related to India. Even in 1982, at a conference in Mumbai about ancient wisdom and modern science, which was organized by the International Transpersonal Association, it was openly acknowledged that the conference was held in India, because India’s wisdom (the concept of Atman) is the consistent background for the new findings of unity underlying the diversity.
At that time, I was very happy thinking that, since now science validates Indian wisdom, the knowledge of all of us being connected surely will trickle down to the common man.
I was wrong. Today, almost 40 years later, India has been completely cut out in Wikipedia’s entry on transpersonal psychology. New age, too, has been disconnected from India. It is revealing how Wikipedia’s piece on transpersonal psychology ends:
“…transpersonal psychology has been criticized by some Christian authors as being a mishmash of New Age ideas that offer an alternative faith system to vulnerable youths who turn their backs on organized religion.”
Those Christian authors are not interested to find out, if there is indeed a transpersonal dimension to our existence, but fear, even more youth could leave the Church if they come to know about it…"

- Maria Writh

Wonder what drove the new age movement away from its relation to India, apart from the arrogance and sense of superiority that white people tend to carry? And how did Christianity sneak into a description of transpersonal psychology on Wikipedia?

Narcissists smear campaign

Pondering a bit on this, it actually doesn’t surprise me when i think about what happened with Kosmic Fusion and the FiT Programme. After the mask of two of the malignant narcissists in the FiT Programme had fallen off and their true destructive intentions had become apparent, they were asked to leave. Narcissists don’t take the truth very well and the narcissistic injury leads them to run a smear campaign. In our case, the smear campaign of Joy Kuo and Iphigenie Amoutzias (as they now call themselves) involved going to some anti-cult organizations and a paid biased article in the media filled with lies slandering the name of Kosmic Fusion and Sree Maa Shri Ji. And it looks like they are still continuing to work hand in glove with the anti-cult movement to spread lies through podcasts and youtube videos. 

Church-media-anticult nexus
You would think this situation could be a one off… but when you do a little research something more sinister appears. Any spiritual minority or movement promoting Santana Dharma (eternal way of righteous living) will encounter opposition from the church-media-anti-cult nexus who work in cahoots to carry out the church’s agenda of keeping people under their dogmatic control.

This is perfectly explained with proofs and evidence in this article, which is well worth a read to open your eyes. Coming back to the above quote by Maria Writh and the fact that somehow Christianity snuck in there... It seems that certain echelons in Christianity have long arms reaching many places and do everything to keep people ignorant and unaware. Indeed, what if people would break away from organized religion and got in touch with their True Soul? Surely this would mean some would lose their power and control… 

Quote from the Bhagvat Gita

What if the mass media would cover the truth of the widespread scandals and abuse of the sickest kind in the Christian and Catholic churches? And why aren’t they bar a few articles here and there?
What i saw the two malignant narcissists do in the FiT Programme was create a lot of smoke and mirrors to deflect from the damage and unethical acts they were doing. Somehow this rings a bell, when i see that the media in NZ went to great lengths to cover a false story about only a very small group of 12 people who received a training of whom only a few actually lived in NZ and they failed to cover what truly matters. Does anyone smell a rat here?

Would like to leave you with the following questions: 

Dare to speak the Truth


New age industry and stealing credit (part 1)

When i first felt some inner spiritual calling, started looking into what was readily available around me and living in the west ended up exploring a good part of the smorgasbord of the new age industry. Am saying industry, as i have found it had more to do with the (spiritual) ego & making money than with genuine spiritual awakening, never mind transformation and transcendence.

Dabbled into healing with the angels, met people who claimed to be channelling the masters, people who were into crystals, followed a reiki course and some other courses, read quite a few books including A course in Miracles which was actually the only book that talked about the Grace of God. But after a few years of searching, nothing had felt quite right, maybe i felt good for a while but the deep yearning wasn’t answered and had seen nothing that actually brought me much closer to the truth or in connection with my True Soul.

Saving Grace
All this changed when i met beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji. Sree Maa awakened my Atma (True Soul), graced me with a 24/7 connection to the Signature of the Source/Void known as Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse or Swaminarayan Mahamantra and in the FiT Programme gently introduced me to Sanatana Dharma, the eternal way of righteous living. It is hard to put into words, felt a sense of coming Home straight from the start with Sree Maa Shri Ji and “this is It” with everything Sree Maa Shri Ji was sharing, the QVSWPP and with Words, though my ego was baffled at times at the Absolute Truths shared that rattled the many faulty and limited beliefs i held within my mind. Forever grateful to Bhagwan for sending beloved Sree Maa into my life.

Narcissists steal credit

Have had the great fortunate to have been graced with countless Blessings and many unparalleled enlightening Discourses by Sree Maa. Sree Maa has always spoken in a way that someone like me can understand, with modern day analogies, in simple English but that contained the most profound Wisdoms and Absolute Truth from the Satshastras that truly nourish the True Soul, show the Glory of the Absolute and the way to liberation. This by the way also involves honest reflection and introspection and not trying to shove the grey shades under the carpet or sugar coating them, like i had seen so much in the new age circles and which i had also indulged in very much.

There is a lot going on and i don’t pretend to know much, in fact if there is one thing i have learnt is that i know nothing but can see there are plenty of times where so-called spiritual teachers in the west are drawing on Ancient Wisdom from India but are not paying homage and credit to the true source. A stark example would be the theosophical society which the healing industry draws on so heavily, unfortunately they have twisted information and spread a lot of misconceptions in the west.

Thinking about it, what i have seen happening in the FiT Programme in a micro scale, is what is going on in the world at large. There two covert narcissists who had snuck into the FiT Programme were and still are stealing Sree Maa’s teachings without giving credit and also tried to Sree Maa's identity. One even went to the point of promoting herself as a Facilitator and bringer of Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse, the other pretended to be such a great devotee that healings were happening because of that. Things couldn’t be further from the truth… Stealing credit is of course a narcissists middle name, and the sad thing is they are cutting the branch they are sitting on. Without the One and Only One nothing is possible and without a true Guru this problem called the “i”/ego is impossible to transcend.

One of the many empowering things taught in the FiT Programme includes not stealing credit and think this is one many so-called spiritual teachers in the west should take to heart. Have actually shared this with my daughter too and it is beautiful to see that she makes sure not to steal anyone’s credit or forget to acknowledge the true source.